Listening to the Next Generation >> Alexandra

A lot of my friends always compare my family or any other Greek family to that movie [My Big Fat Greek Wedding]… They always bring it up. So when we tell stories about our lifestyle, most of my friends that are not of Greek descent don’t believe me. They can’t really understand that we live a certain way, that we value certain things and our families are very close and important. It is difficult to explain it to them.

Got Greek? interviews Alexandra A. from Drexel

My father is Greek, 100%. He grew up in Philadelphia. Our family is from Constantinople [modern-day Istanbul]. My father’s grandparents are from an area in that region call Samsun, Smyrna [modern-day Izmir], and Trabzon. They were part of the trade where the Greek and the Turks switched the populations. Most of my family was killed in the switch… That happened in 1922. My grandfather and grandmother were both born here. So I am third generation.

Q: So your great grandparents came to the United States?

A: Right. But most of my family was killed in that switch.

Q: Where did your great grandparents settle when they came?

A: They were first in New York. Then they came to Philadelphia. But my grandparents met in New York and came to Philadelphia. They were born in New York.

Q: So when your father was growing up, was he growing up in a household speaking Greek?

A: Yes. He grew up in Upper Darby, which is a predominantly Greek area, even today. He grew up speaking Greek and really being in the culture. He was raised by both his grandmothers. He has instilled it within us. Our heritage is very important. It is one of the oldest and one of the most influential cultures. We have done a lot for the world we know today. Growing up, we went to Greek school. We went to church all the time. My grandparents actually signed for St. George’s Church [in downtown Philadelphia] to be built. Everyone in my family has been married there, including my parents.

Q: So your family really has a connection to the Greek community here in Philadelphia?

A: Yes. It is very large actually. My father is the president of the Philadelphia AHEPA chapter and he’s on the board of directors at my church. We are very involved. It is a close knit community and there  are a lot of us.

Q: Talk to me about how — in your family — your Greek heritage plays in with your mom’s culture.

A: They’re two very old cultures and they’ve done a lot for the world. They kind of work hand in hand in my house. My mom is baptized Greek Orthodox. So we don’t know another religion. But we eat Greek food. We eat Chinese food. We learn Greek things. We learn Chinese things. We follow both traditions as well. When we were brought up, we were taught both Greek and Chinese simultaneously while learning English as well. We really embrace both cultures and the American culture.

Q: So your mother, who got married in the church, has embraced the Greek side and she has been able to pass that onto you?

A: Definitely, while also keeping the Chinese culture alive as well. But my mom and my dad both speak a little bit of each other’s languages. It is important.

Q: When you were growing up in your house, was English the predominant language?

A: After the age of five it was. We had to start going to school and we had to speak English in school. But growing up, we really didn’t speak English at all. We spoke Chinese and Greek.

Q: Today do you still use Greek?

A: Yes. Although we don’t have much family left to practice with and speak with, we do practice it as much as we can. It is important to know.

Q: In terms of the culture and the values, what has your father passed on to you that you associate with?

A: Family is really important. It is the most important thing. Work ethic, hard-working. Respect is really important. Religion. Community and hospitality really.

Q: Can you talk to me a bit about how your father’s involvement with running the local chapter of AHEPA and being involved in the church plays into those values that you talked about?

A: My father has been president of the AHEPA chapter for about ten years now… He runs all the meetings. He organizes dinners. They also organize where they allocate money as far as scholarships. In the Greek community, they give mney to support causes like [fighting] Cooley‘s Anemia and suff like that. As far as the church goes, he is on the board of directors… and he also helps out in church with events. So say we have the Greek festival, he helps out and he donates whatever he can… He tries to help everyone he can. Community is very important.

Q: He also owns his own business?

A: Yes, he owns… a printing company… He works closely with a lot of other Greek businesses: pizza places, diners, and Greek events like festivals. We work really closely with that. Those are the majority of our customers.

Q: You said that you grew up helping your father?

A: Yes. Since I can remember, I have been in this store doing whatever I can — helping my dad clean up something, etc. Nowadays, it is more working with the books, keeping the books, delivering for him, helping customers. So it has changed a little bit now that I am older but we are very involved. My two sisters and I, we all do our part to help out.

Q: Do you see your Greek heritage having affected that?

A: Definitely. Since we were little, my dad has said it is really important to have a close connection with your family but also to have a close connection with the family business.  Because inevitably you can only trust family.

Q: You mentioned that you have a lot of Greek friends. Are most of your friends of Greek descent?

A: Not really, I have lots of different friends, but I am a lot closer to my Greek friends. Growing up, our families were close from church. So I have known them a lot longer than most of my other friends.

Q: When you are with your friends that are not of Greek descent, what kind of stories do you tell them  to talk about your Greek heritage?

A: A lot of my friends always compare my family or any other Greek family to the movie.

Q: The movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

A: Yeah. They always bring it up. So when we tell stories about our lifestyle, most of my friends that are not of Greek descent don’t believe me. They can’t really understand that we live a certain way, that we value certain things and our families are very close and important. It is difficult to explain it to them.

Q: Are there examples?

A: A really common occurrence is my friends saying, “Let’s go get lunch” and my dad will need me to work. So I will have to stay back and work. But it is not a bad thing to me. It really doesn’t affect me at all.

Q: It is part of who you are.

A: This is how I have been brought up and knowing that, I still accept it and embrace it. It is okay with me. It is important to me even though my parents taught it to me, I still embrace it.

Q: Going back to the movie, did you like it? Did you not like it?

A: It came out so long ago. I thought it was funny. It was an exaggeration of course. But it did have some parallels to what a Greek family is like… I think everyone thinks that it is really humorous, that we are always joking around or something. I don’t know. It did really help them understand why certain things happen, why we can’t go out sometimes or why we all have a lot of the same names in one family.

Q: When you think about your life going forward, what Greek customs and values do you see yourself holding onto?

A: Definitely the traditions, both religious and non-religious. History. I feel that is really important. My dad has taught us history and how important it is for as long as I can remember. That is definitely one more thing I would carry through with me. Also the language of course, and family and community values.

Q: If you think about having a partner later on in life, how important is it that your Greek heritage play a part in that?

A: It is very important to me. My boyfriend right now is Greek and he lives in Wisconsin. He is the first Greek guy that I have ever gone out with. But I have always known that I should be with someone that is Greek. It is just an understanding, to follow the traditions with me. It is really important to me.

Q: So you see that going down the road?

A: Definitely. Something I am looking for. But we never know what’s going to happen.

Q: At your home in Philadelphia, do you have any objects that remind you of your Greek culture?

A: Of course. We always have a flag somewhere, even if it is only two inches. A couple icons are always given to us by family members.

Q: How do you see the connection with Greece right now in your future?

A: I hope to go every year, every summer. I don’t want to be away from it for too long. I love the lifestyle. It wasn’t forced on me.  It was something that I wanted to do on my own. I really enjoy it. I really love being there. It is a whole different lifestyle. A lot of people who aren’t of Greek descent can’t understand that, the connection.

Q: What do you think is different from being here?

A: I feel a sense of acceptance. I feel like they understand me more. I basically fit it in.

Q: Do you have cousins or relatives in your age group?

A: My cousins are a little older. I am 20 and my cousins are 25 to 26, maybe even a little older. Every time I go, we hang out and reminisce about stuff.