Listening to the Next Generation >> Hercules

So when I’m talking about, “I have to go to Greek school this weekend. I can’t play football,” everyone is kind of like, “What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Greek school?”  Even nowadays, every other week, I’m going to some kind of banquet. And my friends always make fun of me. They’re like, “Herc, where are you going? You going to a banquet again? Another Greek banquet? What are you doing?” I don’t feel strange about it. I like the fact that I have something to differentiate myself from others. It’s nice to know I have part of my life on the side.

Got Greek? interviews Hercules L. from Northwestern

Both my parents are immigrants. My mother’s family is from Kefalonia, an island on the west side of Greece. She was three years old when they came over on a boat, a month long trip. Apparently, she got really sick and didn’t eat. But she made it and now I’m here, so it’s good. My father’s side, they’re from Peloponnisos [the Peloponnese], a village outside Tripoli to be exact. He came over here, I think, when he was 13 years old.

My mom’s side, a lot of the cousins all lived together in the same house. Cousins and aunts. Everyone was together. I know they had a restaurant in downtown Chicago. It was called Old Timers. I think one of the cousins still owns it. But that was my mom’s dad’s primary source of income. Her mother stayed at home. My father’s parents, I think they both worked at a bakery. They still don’t know any English. I guess they picked a job in that they could get by. I think they also knew some other Greek people that were working there already. So that’s how they got involved  over there.

Q: So how did your parents meet?

A: From what I’ve been told, the story they tell, my dad worked in a butcher shop for his uncle and my mom would occasionally go in for milk. They met in a grocery store, I guess. They were from nearby towns and met I guess from going to the grocery store and people knew each other from other Greek people, also, in the community.

Q: Did this happen in Chicago’s Greek Town?

A: No, out on the west side of Chicago, by Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church, which is where I actually go now.  My parents’ family grew up around that area.  There were a lot of Greeks.

Q: Tell me a bit about your growing up. What it was like growing up in a household with two parents of Greek descent?

A: I think it’s typical because it’s what I grew up with. Obviously a lot of my life has Greekness embedded in it. My parents would consistently speak to me in Greek — although I would refuse to speak back in Greek. I would always respond in English.  So now my Greek speaking ability is pretty sub par, but I understand pretty well, which is good… Every Sunday, we went to church. My dad was pretty determined to make sure we had a good background. So I remember when we were younger, we’d have our own Sunday school that my dad would have. He would have my brother, sister and me for two hours with him, where he would do Greek history, language and what not. Eventually, he kind of ran out of time and we had a couple Greek tutors come to the house. That’s what they did to get us to learn Greek to the best that they could. Then traditional stuff… Easter is obviously big in our house. Anything like Oxi Day [October 28th], Independence Day [March 25th]. All that stuff… I’m familiar with and I’m used to. Listening to Greek music, Greek dance. All that was promoted. It’s very apparent, in my family at least that I’m Greek and it’s definitely a big part of how I act now and how I present myself.

Q: In what way? What do you mean?

A: I mean, I’d say values. Obviously most people would say that Greeks have strong family values and I’d say that’s definitely one of my top priorities. We’re definitely very family-oriented. If there’s ever a decision, “‘Am I going to go hang out with my family for something or my friends?:  It’s pretty easy to know what the right answer is. Whereas some of my friends who aren’t Greek, sometimes I say American, my friends who aren’t Greek, they’d definitely have a hard time deciding like,  ”Am I going to go to that concert? Or am I going to go back for my little cousin’s birthday party?”  There’s that inherent understanding that you know what the values are and where you’re supposed to be at.

Q: How did that play out, as you grew up, going through elementary, middle, and high school?

A: I was telling you earlier I lived in Germany. When I was younger, it wasn’t a big deal because at the school as I was at, it was an international school and there was people from all different parts of the world. So everyone had an obvious culture they identified with. So it wasn’t a weird thing to have another part of you that people really don’t know about. That was at home and that was my Greek life versus at school. When I came back to the States, people had I guess assimilated to the American culture. So when I’m talking about, “I have to go to Greek school this weekend. I can’t play football,” everyone is kind of like, “What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Greek school?”  Even nowadays, every other week, I’m going to some kind of banquet. And my friends always make fun of me. They’re like,  “Herc, where are you going? You going to a banquet again? Another Greek banquet? What are you doing?” I don’t feel strange about it. I like the fact that I have something to differentiate myself from others. It’s nice to know I have part of my life on the side. It’s not strange. If anything, I think there’s a phase when you’re younger, everyone is okay with it because everyone is open to everything. When you get to high school, and people start being like you have to conform to something during high school, that’s when people start giving you weird looks. But as long as you realize that it’s just a phase. By the time you get to college, most people re-appreciate having culture.

Q: How about with your name? Hercules?

A: I’m surprised I didn’t mention that. That is interesting part of my life. Pretty much every person I meet has something to say… It works out in many aspects. People always remember my name. I never remember theirs, which is kind of sad. So I’ll see people in the hallway at school and they’ll be like, “Hey Hercules.” And I’ll be like, “Hey guy.” Because I don’t know their name. As far as being a young man, I mean it works out in bars. Girls are always like,  “What’s your name? Hercules?”   I’m like, “I’m Greek.” And they’re like,  “Really?”  So it’s a good conversation point to talk about. It’s definitely a good way when you meet people. You definitely have something to talk about for a little, which always works out.

Q: Tell me a bit about your college experience. What’s that like?

A: I’m pre-med… The first two years were pretty rough academically… So at that point, I was so focused on school that I definitely stopped going to church weekly with my family. So that kind of disappeared from my life. Obviously, I kept in touch with my parents, so that was there. But I’d say my Greek involvement for the first two years of college probably decreased… But over the last year when school started getting a little better, I started getting myself together. I got more involved. I actually joined a Greek dance troupe last year because I got jealous of the Greek dancers I saw at some of the events. I wanted to be one of them. I guess as of recently, it’s kind of come back and I’ve definitely have been re-inspired to get back in touch with my Greek heritage. Particularly, I’ve kind of always been disappointed that in my family, I’m the one guy who’s not fluent in Greek whereas as my brother and sister are. So I’m actually taking a year off from school after I finish, before I go to med school. I’m planning on going to Greece for six months to take language classes, just live there, and work in hospitals. That’s how I kind of plan to re-ignite my Greek heritage and get my language where I want it to be at least.

Q: Tell me a little bit about when you were running the Greek club at Northwestern.

A: The Greek club at Northwestern is interesting. I say interesting, because if you compare it to other schools in Chicago like Loyola, DePaul, UIC [University of Illinois at Chicago] — they have pretty strong Greek clubs. They probably have members of 50 or up, and they probably have active members: at least 25 people to each of their events. Versus Northwestern, I don’t know if there aren’t just not that many. We are a smaller school. When I was president last year, we’d have maybe 10 people show up to an event. When I was a freshman, the first meeting I went to, there was three of us. When I was a sophomore, there was six of us. And last year, when I was a junior, there was 10 of us. This year, there was 25 kids who showed up to the first meeting. Initially, I guess I kind of had a negative view on it; because to me, it seemed like people that I did meet who were Greek didn’t come to Greek club events. For some reason, I don’t really understand why they kind of try to shy away from identifying with being Greek. That always kind of bothered me the wrong way. But people can do as they wish obviously. So some people want to get involved, some people don’t. It’s just how it works. Now, more people are getting involved. As far as what we do, we pretty much do social stuff. We don’t do anything serious. We have a basketball tournament next week. We organize dances with the other schools. But other than that, it’s pretty much social. Nothing too serious.

Q: Are your grandparents still alive?

A: Both the grandmas are alive. My dad’s mom lives with us. And my mom’s mom goes six months in Greece and six months back here.

Q: What’s your relationship like with them?

A: The problem is the language can be an issue because my Greek is butchered when I speak. So they do their best to understand me. Obviously they come from a very different time. They’re older in general. They have some pretty conservative views versus me. I go to a liberal college. I’m a young kid who pretty much grew up in the States. When they say, what I think are crazy thoughts, I just keep my thoughts to myself. But I guess we’re friendly. I wouldn’t necessarily say they know a lot about me. But obviously they love me for what they can, what they know about me. I guess the only negative aspect is if my Greek was better, I’d probably be able to share more stories and details that I’d like. But I can’t. But other than that, I think everything is pretty normal.

Q: Kind of switching gears, the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. What’s your take?

A: It’s scarily accurate. The Windex thing, I always actually thought was definitely wrong. But you can ask my friends. I bought Windex earlier this year and I spray it all the time just to smell it. So I don’t know if it’s genetic or what not. But I’m definitely pre-disposed to enjoying the smell of Windex. But I don’t know about the whole zit-removing ability. But Windex is good. Otherwise, I’d say it’s accurate. There’s family everywhere and in everything. There’s lambs on spits. My house has columns in front. There’s no Greek flag on the garage. But it’s pretty much what it’s like. You have the cousins who come in. Everyone has got their personality in the movie, just like in real life.

Q: Did your parents put columns on their house when they built it?

A: Yeah. My parents built their house. They have columns. It’s got a red roof. It’s very Greek-influenced.

Q: Like a terra cotta roof?

A: Yeah exactly.

Q: Peloponnesian-style?

A: Definitely, yeah.

Q: So you could identify with this movie?

A: I think everyone in my family has a copy of it. We all made it a big event. That was like the first movie we went and saw together since The Lion King when I was tiny. So we all went to see that together and I think everyone identified with it a lot. Definitely pretty accurate.

Q: Specifically it’s about the Chicago Greek community.

A: Yeah, the restaurant thing definitely reflects back on my mother because her dad had a restaurant and she used to work in that when she was younger before she got married. I don’t know if my father identifies with it that much because he’s pretty educated. He definitely rose to the top from where he was. I kind of view him as a rogue, a rogue immigrant Greek because he kind of did things his own way. But for the rest of us, the way they portrayed what it’s like to have Greek parents was very accurate. The expectations as far as marriage is really accurate. All that stuff definitely reflected on things that happened in my life.

Q: How about that, in terms of if you think about having a life partner? The Greek thing — where does that come in?

A: It’s funny you ask that. I actually have this discussion with my friends all the time. When I was in high school, I’d say, “I can do whatever I want.” That’s how everyone is in high school. But I definitely say over the last two to three years, I prefer when I get married, to marry someone who is Greek. Not to say I won’t marry someone that’s not. But the way I like to think about it is I just think about it as probability. The way I view marriage would be you have the best chance succeeding with someone you have the most in common with. It just minimizes problems. For instance, if I married a Jewish girl, not that it couldn’t work out. But are we going to baptize my child or are we going to give it a Bar or Bat Mitzva? I don’t know. Those are just little things you could work out. But it would make things harder. So I definitely intend and hopefully will marry someone who’s Greek American, probably because that would be somebody who grew up like me. Maybe they understand the American and Greek aspects. That would just make things easier, more comfortable. Families are definitely more accepting. I know some people say that you should just do things on your own, you should. But at the same time, I do think it matters what your family thinks about your future spouse. So in that case, if they have big problems, just because they think your spouse doesn’t fit into the family, I think that should be a concern for someone. It shouldn’t be the deciding factor, obviously. But it’s something I think I’d do and definitely my siblings would take into account when deciding on who they’re going to marry.

Q: Veering away from the relationship thing, do you feel being Greek that there’s a set of expectations that you have to live up to?

A: Not necessarily from the Greek community. Obviously from my parents, because they have pretty high expectations, and I think they should have high expectations. That’s fine. I guess they expect what most parents expect — to be a good upstanding person, contributing to the community. Do your best. Fulfill your potential. Be a real good person. Have your priorities set straight. Other than those, which I think I would have for my own kids, there’s nothing. I never feel extra pressure to be more Greek in any form. I’m pretty content with the pressure situation.

Q: In terms of identity, do you use terms to identify yourself? Like Greek, Greek American, American of Greek descent?

A: I say Greek American. I guess I always refer to myself as Greek American. I don’t know if that’s the appropriate term. I was born here so maybe it should be American Greek. Because I’m American first, I don’t know. I’m a U.S. citizen but I definitely feel very Greek. I feel if I went back there, I’d be accepted as one of them. I don’t think I have any major identity issues with that. Greek American is what I go with. It describes me accurately, I think.

Q: What do you see yourself taking away from your Greek and American identities?

A: You definitely have to blend it together, especially being a young Greek American. You have to blend your Greek traditions and the values that come from your Greek family, with what you’re exposed to in the American culture. Like I was saying before, I’d say I have some liberal views on particular things that I think most of my college peers would agree with me on. I also have some pretty conservative views that my parents have instilled in me. So I come from a balance of American and Greek culture as far as traditions I uphold and values that I have.

Q: What do you consider as conservative values and liberal values?

A: Not to get my parents in trouble or anything. I’ll say my grandparents definitely would have issues with particular marriage situations. So my grandma would think that homosexual relationships are completely out of line, they shouldn’t get married and what not. I, personally, am kind of indifferent and don’t really care. I think it doesn’t really matter to me. But they would be very strongly against that. Things like recreational use of drugs — kids my age are pretty liberal about that and don’t really see that as a moral issue.  I’m kind of against all that. That comes from my family as my parents are obviously really against that. Things you encounter in everyday life. Like those kinds of things would be stuff that I’m kind of balanced as far as my views lie.

Q: Before we wrap up, I do want to give you the opportunity to talk about anything that we didn’t get to.

A: I guess what I would say — this is more I guess coming from my father’s point of view and I kind of agree with it — people always talk about how America is the melting pot, and all the cultures come together to become one. I guess that was good to start off with. I personally am under the opinion that it is not necessarily the best thing to do: to assimilate every culture into one. There is nothing wrong with having your own culture and your own group of people you hang out with. There’s no reason you shouldn’t maintain that in order to keep up the progress of your ancestors and what your grandparents brought forth. There’s no reason that’s supposed to disappear because you’re in a new country. I guess I’d leave people with that.  It is important to maintain your family’s traditions and not just go with the majority flow in the country. I know people say the melting pot. But I don’t know, it’s a bad restaurant. Have you ever been there? I don’t like The Melting Pot. I like being unique. There’s no reason to blend everyone together. Then, what’s the point?