Listening to the Next Generation >> Maria

A lot of people come to the United States looking for something different and something new. My dad came here trying something new and leaving the past behind. But I identify myself with being Greek more than being American. It is kind of weird. My boyfriend actually is not Greek but he tells me I’m not so American because I know the Greek music and everything. That’s how I grew up. I grew up with these traditions and with the music and everything. Just because I live here, it’s kind of hard to explain sometimes and to justify it. But I know that it’s right for me.

Got Greek? interviews Maria A. from Northeastern

My father was born in Greece and my mother is second generation. Both speak Greek fluently. So everyone in my family is Greek.

Q: Tell me a bit about where they grew up.

A: My father was born in a small village about an hour north of Athens. He left the village at the age of 11 to go to high school in another city. He was in the Merchant Marines and ended up landing in Boston and decided to stay. He was very smart and knew that he wouldn’t be able to properly support himself and progress in terms of education. So he decided to come to the United States and he went to college. He didn’t have a lot of money, and ended up going to Northeastern. He got his mechanical engineering degree in two years, working full-time the whole way through. I never hear the end of that.

Q: What did he do when he was working?

A: He actually worked in the restaurant business, moving up from busboy to kitchen manager, and made a lot of friends that way. He lived in Boston’s North End and helped open a couple of restaurants in that area with friends. He also studied and worked, and ended up finishing college in two years. He’s worked at two or three companies since then. He’s currently a senior mechanical engineer… He has done very well for himself. My mom grew up in Cambridge, then her family moved to Arlington. Both sets of her grandparents were born in Greece. They came over in the early 1900s, and she learned Greek through them. They always carried on all the traditions, and she actually went to Northeastern. But my parents didn’t meet until afterwards. She got her degree in elementary education and… her masters degree at Boston State Teachers College, and she’s still working in the Cambridge Public Schools.

Q: Where in Greece were your mom’s parents from?

A: One part is from the Peloponiso [the Peloponnese], and I think her mother was from Mikra Asia [Asia-Minor]. So they’re kind of from all over the place. We have a lot of family to visit when we go. But I don’t think she has any family left in Turkey, but a lot of family is still in the Peloponiso.

Q: What is your interaction with your grandparents like on her side?

A: My mother’s parents actually live one town over from us. So I still see them all the time.  They took care of me when I was little. Until middle school, I would go over to their house in the morning and they would take me to school, or I would spend the afternoons there while my parents were working. And the same thing with my younger brother. So I know them very well.  They’re in their 90s now, and I still see them all the time. Both are still living. My father’s mother still lives in Greece. My grandfather, I actually never met him. He passed away before I was born. But my grandmother, we still see her every summer when we go to Greece. She actually lives there at our summer house. So I still see her all the time as much as I can.

Q: What that’s like when you get to see her in Greece when you go there? How are the interactions different from those you have with your grandparents here?

A: I think their lifestyles are very different. My grandfather was a college professor… in Brookline. He had a full education, everything, and worked several jobs. And my grandmother worked, too… But my grandmother in Greece was obviously very different. She grew up with nothing. She had to work all the time in the fields. I don’t think she got past fourth or fifth grade. She had four kids and took care of another three kids who were orphaned. I think that the lifestyle for her was not easier.

Q: What values has your family passed down to you? And what do you hold close?

A: Family is always the most important thing. We always learned that family will always be there no matter what. No matter where you go, your family will always be there. That’s definitely come through with me being in college. My mom is always there and she’s still there, and I know that she will always be there. Definitely, education is very important. Being able to make something of yourself. My dad came over with nothing, so he worked very hard for what he has now. He has a very deep-rooted work ethic that he’s definitely passed down to me. We are in the same profession. So I definitely was able to see how he worked and what he considers important. I model that to my lifestyle. Now that I am working through the co-op program, my co-workers tell me all time that I have this real old-fashioned work ethic, and that nobody has that anymore. They ask how did I get that? My dad worked so hard and I see how he was very successful. I do that same thing, and will hopefully get to that point.

Q: Tell me a little bit about your interaction with friends who aren’t of Greek descent.  How do you explain your Greek heritage to them? Do you tell them stories?

A: All of my friends have always been interested in my culture. It’s almost kind of strange, from what I have seen. Greeks tend to hold to their roots very strongly and that’s not something that you see with a lot of cultures. In high school, I had a very ethnically diverse group of friends. One of my friends, probably the one that I can most relate to, she’s from Pakistan. They had the same values, and the same principles. It wasn’t very different for me to explain to her.  And my best friend is not Greek. But he loves everything Greek from all the stories that I told him, and coming to my house and eating the food. We went to Greece together two years ago and he had a blast. He just absolutely loved it and is dying to go back. So it is not very difficult for me to explain to at least the people that I know. Of course, it helps to have all the stories to be able explain to them. It’s not very difficult for them to relate. Maybe it’s just the group of friends that I had. They are very understanding.

Q: In terms of identity, do you use terms like Greek American, Greek, American, American with Greek Roots or something else?

A: My cousin put it best when she said I was Greek at heart but just happened to be born in the United States. I think it sums it up perfectly. Everyone always says that I am very close to my heritage, and for some people it’s kind of strange. I identify myself with being Greek very much. I hold it very close to my heart. It really has shaped me to be who I am now. In terms of all the values and the traditions,  it’s nice to have a structure there that is different than everyone else.

Q: Do you feel like that people perceive it as strange that you are connected?

A: Not necessarily strange, but kind of out of the ordinary. A lot of people come to the United States looking for something different and something new. My dad came here trying something new and leaving the past behind. But I identify myself with being Greek more than being American. It is kind of weird. My boyfriend actually is not Greek but he tells me I’m not so American because I know the Greek music and everything. That’s how I grew up. I grew up with these traditions and with the music and everything. Just because I live here, it’s kind of hard to explain sometimes and to justify it. But I know that it’s right for me.

Q: You mentioned that you have a boyfriend and he is not Greek.  Talk to me a little bit about how being Greek factors into your relationship choices.

A: To me, personally, it doesn’t matter. I had this conversation with my mom and I asked her what she would say if I didn’t marry someone who’s Greek. She told me it doesn’t matter as long as he loves me and respects me for what I am. I feel that I am so set in my Greek roots, that it’s okay for me. It doesn’t matter if the other person isn’t Greek. I feel like I can relate to them just as much. It’s not really that big of an issue because I know that I can hold my own. It would be nice. But I am not saying that it’s a good thing or bad thing. Just the way that it has worked out for me now is okay. My boyfriend respects it, and he understands it. So it’s not really an issue, I guess.

Q: Talk to me a little bit about when you go to Greece. You mentioned that you go every summer.

A: We go every summer. We stay in my dad’s village where he grew up… we have our own summer house and my grandmother lives there… I have friends there, and my cousins and most of my family is over there. It’s always nice to go back.

Q: How do you feel when you’re there? Do you feel different when you are there versus when you are here?

A: It is definitely different. There is more freedom there, I think. I don’t know what I’d do in the summer here. I have always been going to Greece in the summer, so that’s what I associate with summer. Definitely different, a very carefree lifestyle, which I enjoy. I love just traveling and being in my country, my home almost. It’s nice to go back to that and kind of just to see my family and where I’m from. It’s nice to have that.

Q: Do you get the sense when you are there that you feel at home?

A: Yes, definitely. Not to say that here is not my home. But it is a kind of a different, deeper feeling. Knowing that all of my ancestors and all of my family are from this one country. I feel like kind of in awe. I have the upmost respect for it.

Q: In terms of Greeks in America, the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. What’s your take on that movie?

A: I have kind of mixed feelings about it. A lot of parts were funny. A lot of things I could relate to. I do think that they took some things out of context, out of proportion. There’s one thing that really stuck out to me, and actually it’s something my dad brought up also when he saw it. That’s when the father is kind of yelling at the daughter for getting an education. I feel like that completely misconstrues Greek people today in America. I feel like it’s good to be old-fashioned sometimes. But with the progress society has made today, it doesn’t really reflect well on Greeks in society. I don’t know how many other people picked up on that. That was the one thing that really stuck out in my mind and I didn’t really completely agree with. Yes, there were a lot of stereotypes. It’s hard to see that people poke fun at it… But that one thing really kind of irked me.

Q: You run the Hellenic student club here at Northeastern. Tell me about that.

A: I kind of compare it to when my mom went to school here. She would tell me that there was a Greek corner downstairs in the student center where there were tons of Greek kids. They would always hang out with each other. Now there’s a disconnect, and that doesn’t happen anymore. One of my goals is to bring all the Greek kids together. That would be fantastic. There’s a Latin American Student Organization here on campus, and it would be nice to get eventually to that point — to have a place that kids can kind of connect and hang out with each other. I know we have a lot of transfer students that come from Greece, mostly in the grad program but also a couple of undergrads. I think it would be nice to kind of help them transition to our lifestyle and tell them what Northeastern, Boston, and the United States are all about.

Q: In your apartment, are there what you would call Greek things?

A: Definitely. I have a lot of photographs. I also have a Greek soccer banner in my room, and my mom gave me a towel from Greece. We have salt and pepper shakers from Greece. All the stuff we’ve brought home with us. It definitely is evident in my family’s house in Winchester. My dad makes wine and kind of brings the old country back into our home.

Q: In your spare time, do you listen to Greek music?

A: I listen to a lot of Greek music. Mostly older Greek music from the 1950s and 1960s. My brother bought a bouzouki last year, and I have been slowly teaching myself how to play. I also played violin back in the day. I would just mess around, trying to figure out Greek songs that I hear on the radio. My mom taught me how to dance. So back in middle school and high school, my parents would put the Greek program on in our kitchen on Sundays and we would all dance around in the kitchen. All those little things that help bring us back to our culture and where we are from.

Q: Before we wrap up, I want to give you the opportunity to talk about anything that we didn’t get into or you wanted to elaborate on.

A: It’s almost difficult to put it into words how I feel about being Greek. I think I put it best in my college entrance essay, where I talked about my last name and how it kind of it gave me a way to the world almost, and how people have all these stereotypes about Greek people. But  there’s really a lot more to it. I elaborated on it beforehanpd on family values and education. I ended the essay in saying that being Greek and having this last name is kind of my passport to the world. I can relate to a lot of different people and I have kind of more worldly views. I’ve been to the country countless times and interacted with people there, and gotten a grasp of how things operate in a different country. And it’s kind of grounded me here almost to see how different things are, and not just being closed into one country. So it kind of represents my past, my present and my future. Kind of just taking all different things from my parents, from what I’ve seen from the music I listen to. Realizing from a different era what these people went through to get me here, and what I can do in the future to make things better or different for other people.