Listening to the Next Generation >> Steve

We come from a fairly strong Greek background. People always think that’s very interesting. Especially out here in Montana, there’s not a whole lot of Greeks out here. There are a lot more Italians and people of Western European descent. Then when I tell people I’m Greek, they’re intrigued. They’ll automatically say that I must be a pretty good philosopher or mathematician. But I do identify with that culture even when I’m here. It makes for good conversation. Like I said, it’s not too prevalent out here. It helps me identify with my own family, whether that be my immediate family or my extended family.

Got Greek? interviews Steve M. from U. of Montana

Q: First off, Steve, tell me about who in your family is of Greek descent.

A: Well, my both my parents are. My mom is 100% Greek. My dad is about a quarter Greek. So that makes me 62.5% Greek. It’s kind of an odd percentage. But my mom, she comes from Greek immigrant parents. Then my dad’s great grandfather was a Greek immigrant. So I have Greek heritage on both sides of the family. But it’s a lot stronger on my mom’s side because she grew up in a pretty strict and traditional Greek household. It wasn’t as apparent in my dad’s household.

Q: Did your grandparents come together from Greece, or separately to the United States? What’s their story?

A: I don’t know too much about my grandmother’s story. But maybe her parents were the immigrants, then she was born here. But my grandfather, after World War II, he was in the Greek army. I think he interrogated Italian soldiers. Afterwards, he and his brother decided to move to the United States. They went to Tarpon Springs, Florida where there was a strong Greek community. A lot of the Greeks were sponge diving at the time. So he kind of became a part of that. Then, he met my yiayia [grandmother] there. Then they moved to Gary, Indiana where they raised my mom and her siblings. Then my mom moved out here with my dad and my older brother back in the 1989, I think.

Q: Do you know where your grandfather came from in Greece?

A: Kalymnos.

Q: Before he joined the Greek army, was he doing sponge diving back in Kalymnos? Since the island is known for that.

A: I’m not sure. I think he might have been. It’s kind of hard to say. I know he was always a musician. I think he was always doing things related to music. But as far as he was a sponge diver in Kalymnos, I think he was. But I’m not sure.

Q: So he met your grandmother in Tarpon Springs and then they moved to Gary, Indiana. You indicated your mom grew up in what might be considered a traditional Greek household. What was her experience like?

A: They attended Greek school after school. I think my mom’s yiayia [grandmother], my great-grandmother, she only spoke Greek. I think there was a good mixture of Greek to English in the household. But it was mainly English. Though the kind of way they ran their family was traditionally Greek.

Q: On your dad’s side, he’s a quarter Greek. Did he have any connection to being Greek when he was growing up at all?

A: I don’t think so. He grew up here in Billings. My grandmother is 100% Irish, so I think it was more of an Irish Catholic upbringing.

Q: So that was his prevailing identity.

A: Yeah.

Q: Did your father sort of inherit that? Does he identify at all with being Irish?

A: Yeah. He definitely does identify with being Irish. We used to be Catholic. I was baptized Catholic, and so were my two brothers and my little sister as well. We were chrismated about 11 years ago in June. We attended a Catholic school up until I graduated from high school. So my dad’s upbringing had a presence in the family. But we also attended the Orthodox church here. It was like we were experiencing both of our parents’ heritage: the Irish Catholic and the Greek Orthodox. We’re now Orthodox and that’s the main one we focus on. It’s the most prevalent in our household.

Q: Do you know what accounted for that shift?

A: I think that my dad wanted to unify the family. My mom came from a very religious background. I think my dad’s background was also religious but not as strong as my mother’s. So he grew comfortable with the Orthodox church, and he saw that it kind of resonated with the family a little stronger than the Catholic church. Around 1998, we decided to make the switch after my dad had done the necessary things as one who wants to convert. But we’re still very close to the Catholic church. Like I said, we went to Catholic school from pre-school through high school. The entire side of my dad’s family is Catholic, and we have two cousins who are Catholic priests. So it’s never fully gone away. But primarily, we’re a Greek Orthodox family.

Q: What was that transition like for you?

A: As far back as I can remember, we always attended the Greek church here, even the Orthodox church here when it was just a mission church. I had some very close friends, and still do have some close friends through the Orthodox church. I think that since we attended the Orthodox church more, I really wanted to be Orthodox as opposed to being Catholic. Just because it seemed like there was more tradition involved. There’s more depth to the service. That’s how I even felt at a young age. So I saw all my friends going up to communion when I wasn’t Orthodox, and I was sad that I couldn’t participate. So when my parents told me we were becoming Orthodox, I was pretty happy. I’m still happy with the choice. So it wasn’t a very jarring transition. It was more like when it happened, even though I was a fourth grader, I was very happy that we were going through with it.

Q: As you were growing up, to what degree was the involvement in the church also the Greek cultural outlet for you?

A: It was a way for me to identify with  people who have a similar past and similar belief systems as me. Even from a young age, I remember in pre-school talking about my yiayia [grandmother] and pappou [grandfather]. I thought everyone had those. Then I found out those are Greek terms. That was the first indication that I don’t necessarily come from the same background as everyone else does. So being associated with the Orthodox Church kind of got me in touch with the Greek traditions in the sense of the liturgical calendar and how they celebrate certain events. Most in particular, Pascha [Easter]. Just the sacredness involved in Holy Lent, and the feast of Pascha. From the midnight vigil to the celebration afterwards, I was told the way my family celebrated it was very much alike how my mom’s side celebrated that in the past. Although there aren’t many Greeks here, it kind of connected me to the bigger picture, the past to where I am today. I try to still connect to it as much as I can. I find that the best way to do that is through the church and the traditions of the church.

Q: At your college campus, is there any sort of Hellenic Student Association at all?

A: No, there is not. Although I’d like to start one, I already have so much going on. I couldn’t shoulder the burden of starting a new club. I always joke around when all the fraternities are like “Go Greek” or whatever. I’m like, “I’m the only one who’s really Greek,  here.” I understand what they’re saying. But it’s not really like they are Greek. Aside from that, there aren’t any legitimate Greek or Hellenic societies or clubs at the University of Montana.

Q: Have you met any other students on campus who also have Greek heritage to any degree?

A: Yeah. I have one friend who’s a quarter Greek. But she didn’t really grow up in a household where the Greek traditions were apparent or applied very much. I meet people here and there who have a tinge of Greek heritage. But none of them came from a background where it was applied or practiced.

Q: How did you find out about the Peter Agris Memorial Scholarship, which for the record awards students of Greek heritage for their pursuit of journalism. How did you come to know about that?

A: One of my friends actually forwarded me an email about it. I looked at the different criteria and decided I might as well apply for it. Because I doubt that any of the other journalism students here in Montana fit these standards. It was one of my friends who said, “You’re Greek and you’re a journalism student. This is a great opportunity.” Then, I think I forgot about it for a while. Then the day before it was due, I wrote the essay, filled out the application and faxed it. Then I got a call a week later from Nancy Savage saying that I was one of the finalists. So we set up an interview time. I talked to the Alpha-Omega board. Then a day later, they said I was one of the recipients. So I was pretty thrilled about that. It’s definitely a big honor.

Q: What was the essay question that you had to write?

A: I think it was something like how does your Greek heritage influence you to pursue journalism or something like that. Although, I couldn’t say I came from a really strong Greek background because there really aren’t that many Greeks out here in Montana. I just said my Greek heritage connects me to the Orthodox faith, and the Orthodox faith influences me as a person. It influences my ethics, judgments and decisions. As a journalist, those are things you have to use on a daily basis. So I said that the Orthodox faith has taught me to apply that to my day-to-day life. That’s pretty much what I wrote. Then I had the interview and got the scholarship.

Q: In your family, does your mom have any siblings at all?

A: Yes. She has four brothers and one sister. One of her brothers is actually Bishop Savas Zembillas, the former chancellor of the Greek Orthodox church. He’s now the director of the Church and Society for the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. He works directly under Archbishop Demetrios. That’s kind of a testament to how strong Greek heritage and Greek faith was in my mom’s family. We have a very prominent and very well-known bishop. Then, throughout her family, there’s a strong faith base. It definitely shows in her siblings and their families and my cousins.

Q: Are your cousins and relatives all over the country, or are they in a certain region?

A: Mainly they’re in the Midwest. Some are in Missouri but the majority of them are in Indiana.

Q: Do you have family gatherings?

A: Once every year or so. Sometimes they come out here. But we’re pretty remote. A lot of times, we make the trip over to the Midwest. I always love going out there. The change in scenery. It’s a little more humid than it is out here. I always love the chance to catch up with the family, whom I hardly see.

Q: Did you get to know your grandparents as you were growing up at all?

A: I got to see them about once a year. Whenever we saw them, we spent a lot of time with them. I always got a good idea of who they were. They were always very loving. Very supportive of us. Very encouraging. Very proud of our accomplishments even at a young age. About seven years ago, my grandpa passed away. But before that, he was a great supporter. So was my yiayia [grandmother]. I got a pretty good idea of who they were. But because of the geographical differences, I probably could have had a better understanding if I had interactions with them on a more regular basis.

Q: You mentioned earlier that your grandfather played music, and I noticed on your personal information sheet that you’re a musician as well. Perhaps it’s in the genes.

A: I think I get the musical genes from both sides of the family. Both the Miller and Zembillas sides are very musical. It shows itself in myself and also in my siblings as well. I’ve been playing guitar for about nine years. But I’ve been playing and writing my own music as far back as I can remember, maybe as far back as six or seven years old that I’ve been playing or performing music in some form. It’s a huge part of my life, and I feel fortunate to come from a family who encourages that and nurtures that desire to play and write and perform music. I get it from my Greek grandpa. I get it from my dad’s side of the family. He has all sorts of wonderfully talented musicians in his family. I’m fortunate to have a strong musical influence from both my mom’s side and my dad’s as well.

Q: Do you know what kind of instrument your Greek grandfather played?

A: He played the bouzouki, which we have at our house. The strings haven’t been changed in 40 or 50 years. But I sometimes pick it up and strum it. I don’t think it’s in the correct tuning. But I just tuned it to a mandolin tuning because they’re similar, the two strings bunched together. In fact, I just recorded a song recently that features the bouzouki on it, and it’s his bouzouki on it. So I just try to play it for a future generation of musicians. Like I said, the strings are really old and leave this weird residue on my hand after I’m done playing with it. Yeah, that was his instrument of choice. I still try to play it every now and then.

Q: Do you ever listen to Greek music?

A: Not really. When I was in Greece, I heard it. Sometimes my relatives play it. But I don’t really pop it in my I-pod and listen to some Greek music. I don’t really know any of the popular contemporary Greek artists. Every now and then, when I’m with my family, it kind of interests me. I always try to pick something up and try to incorporate it into my own songwriting. I wish I listened to it more often. It seems pretty interesting. Definitely seems like it would challenge me as a musician if I try to incorporate that into my own playing.

Q: You mentioned that you’ve been to Greece. Tell me a bit about your experiences there. When did you go there?

A: I went to Greece about two summers ago with my two cousins from the Midwest. We’re about the same age, so it worked out well. We decided to stay there for a couple of days after on the way back to the United States from Istanbul. We didn’t really know what we were doing. So it was a constant fight for survival almost. We made reservations at this one hotel close to the Acropolis. But it was only for one night. So we got reservations for another hotel. Little that we knew, it was across town. For some reason, no taxis would drive us there, so we had to walk about five miles in the beating sun with all of our stuff to this hotel. That was very painful. I’m glad we made the trek. We spent an entire day trying to get from one hotel to the next. Then we only had about two or three more days to do some sightseeing. We saw all the prominent places in Athens like the Acropolis and the monument of Zeus and the original Olympic stadium. But I wish we could have stayed longer in Greece and had a better taste for what the place has to offer. I’m sure I’ll go back again. But when we were in Greece, it was a fight for survival. We had no idea what was going on. We were just trying to make due with what we had. While we hauled our stuff around with us, it was challenging. But looking back on it, it was certainly fun.

Q: Could any of you speak the language?

A: My cousin took some sort of ancient Greek language class. It wasn’t conversational. But through that, he was able to look at a Greek map and sort of make out the street names. So that helped us out a bit. We just knew the basic “efcharisto” [thank you] and “parakalo” [you’re welcome]. That was about it. But we managed to get by with the little Greek we knew.

Q: Even though you were there just a couple of days, what was it like for you to be in Greece?

A: I was very happy with the amount of old Orthodox churches there. I actually went into one when they were celebrating vespers for the feast of St. Elijah. I just randomly stumbled upon it. So that was great. I felt a good sense of Greek pride while I was there. It’s a great country and seeing the cradle of civilization, the places where the famous philosophers got started. Knowing that in some way my ancestors and I are connected to this large tradition and culture. Even though I experienced it for a short amount of time, I felt connected with the past. I felt especially proud of my heritage when we were there.

Q: Back here in the United States, thinking about cultural identity- do you ever use terms like Greek, Greek American, American of Greek background or Irish Greek American? Do you use any terms like that?

A: People ask me about my religion. I say Greek Orthodox. I don’t say Orthodox because I’ve had times in the past when people think I’m Jewish. I’ve just been told to say Greek Orthodox. That’s mainly what I say when people ask me what religion I am. But when I identify myself culturally, I say my parents are Greek and I’m 5/8th Greek. We come from a fairly strong Greek background. People always think that’s very interesting. Especially out here in Montana, there’s not a whole lot of Greeks out here. There are a lot more Italians and people of Western European descent. Then when I tell people I’m Greek, they’re intrigued. They’ll automatically say that I must be a pretty good philosopher or mathematician. But I do identify with that culture even when I’m here. It makes for good conversation. Like I said, it’s not too prevalent out here. It helps me identify with my own family, whether that be my immediate family or my extended family.

Q: When people ask you about being Greek, does the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding come up?

A: Yeah. They ask,  Is your life actually like that? I’m like it is. Instead of people being named Nick and Nicky in our family, they’re either named Steve or Maria. My little sister is named Maria. Those are fairly common names in my family. I can identify with that quite a bit. From what I’ve been told, my parents wedding was like the wedding in the movie. Except it was bigger, fatter and more Greek. When I saw the movie, it definitely reminded me of my own family. I just tell people it’s a fairly accurate portrayal only we can get a little crazier than the family that was portrayed in that movie.

Q: In what ways can your family get crazy?

A: When we get together, it’s not so much about drinking or about saying “Opa!” It’s more like a musical sort of gathering. Even last summer, my uncle and my siblings and I, we pretty much took over this coffee shop for one night. We displayed the Zembillas family musicians. We sort of took control of the open-mic night. It was this coffee house full of people. It was a display of the musical gifts of the people in the family. That was always fun. It’s been so long since all of us have been together. But when the weddings come along, those are always pretty ruckus. There’s a lot of stuff going on. They tend to go into the early hours of the morning. It’s always a good time to see the family, especially from the music side. I always like to exchange musical ideas with my uncle. We like to jam out. That usually takes up a big chunk of the night. In that way, I think we’re a little crazier than the family depicted in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. But also my parents’ wedding was quite a bit larger than that wedding from what I’ve been told. Maybe 400 or 500 people there. There was just all sorts of things going on. That’s a different story. That presents a pretty accurate depiction of my Greek family.

Q: When your parents decided to get married, did they face any sort of opposition from the family? Or was it a seamless process?

A: It was pretty much seamless. Of course, my pappou [grandfather] and his friends had to give the whole talk to my dad like if you hurt my daughter, I’m going to kill you or whatever. They could have been joking. I don’t know. But that’s always what I’ve been told by my dad. That’s what he had to go through. Plus, my mother’s older siblings were pretty protective of her, too. They liked my dad a lot, though—I mean, how could you not? Apparently, he used to say “super” a lot, so my uncle Metri called him “Superman.” Also, probably helped that he had some Greek blood, too. But I’ve never heard about any sort of real conflicts about my parents’ marriage.

Q: In terms of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, one of the main themes revolves around the main character marrying someone who’s not of Greek descent. In terms of your own relationship choices, and maybe thinking about a life partner down the road, where does your Greek heritage come into play?

A: The main thing I would look for is someone who has a similar belief system as me. I’ve seen how my parents have raised me, and I want to impart that to my own children. But as far as looking for Greek girls, I mean there aren’t a whole lot here. Gosh, I can’t think of one off hand in Billings or Missoula. Overall, I think it’s important to have a spouse with similar beliefs that we can raise a family the best way we see fit. But as far as right, there aren’t a whole lot of options. I suppose if I want to find a Greek girl, I’d have to relocate maybe to the East Coast or anywhere. It seems like we have one of the lowest Greek populations out here in Montana out of the United States. Like I said, it’s important to find someone who has similar beliefs. My beliefs are grounded in the Greek Orthodox faith. If I could find somebody like that, that would be great. But as far as finding someone who’s Greek, there aren’t a whole lot of options out here.

Q: Do you see yourself staying in the Northwest?

A: Maybe. I don’t know. It’s kind of a tough call. I can imagine wanting to get out of the Northwest sometime to experience life elsewhere. I could always imagine myself somewhere down the road coming back here. I just love the general way of living out here. It’s pretty slow-paced. There’s hardly any traffic anywhere. If you want to make a retreat or go up to the mountains, it’s like a 25 or 30 minute drive from wherever you are. I think I would miss that if I stayed in another place too long. I could imagine myself maybe relocating sometime after college or maybe a couple years after college. But permanently, I don’t see myself ever getting away from this place.

Q: Have you ever felt at all disconnected from your Greek heritage?

A: All the time.  Like I said, the small amount of Greek people here. There aren’t a lot of people who share the beliefs. Even when I was in Greece and when I was in Tarpon Springs, Florida retracing the steps of my grandparents, there were a lot of things that were new to me. They were exciting to learn about. But I didn’t feel 100% connected to it. Plus, I don’t know a ton of Greek. I can’t speak in Greek at all. Also having my last name. I love it. Steve Miller. Like the band. Everyone can remember my name pretty easily. But having the last name Miller. It derives from Malliaris, which was my great-grandpa from Greece. That was his last name. I feel like those cultural things where I’m from and my very American sounding name, which I do not resent at all. I feel like I’m not as a part of the Greek heritage that I could be. But times have changed. We’re in a different part of the country. We’re just kind of making the most of what we have. Since there aren’t hardly any Greeks here, we have our own community. That works out just fine. If there were more Greeks out here, that would be great. But there are not. So we go on living as normal and it’s fine. Yes, we could have more Greek traditions in the household. We could have a Greeker name. We could speak more Greek. But I’m happy with the way I was raised. I’m happy with where I am. So I wouldn’t change any of it.

Q: You mentioned that you went to Tarpon Springs, Florida to connect with your grandparents’ immigration story. When was that and what was that experience like?

A: It was about five years ago this June. It was for her side of the family, the Georgiades  family reunion. That was a lot of fun, reconnecting with relatives whom I’ve never seen before. The Greek section of Tarpon Springs, it remains from what I understand relatively unchanged. It’s not really modernized at all. It was a very authentic Greek experience. It was just nice being immersed in that sort of environment so I could understand my heritage and where my grandparents came from. Apparently, my grandpa wrote the Greek theme song or town song for Tarpon Springs. I thought that was a cool bit of history that my grandpa’s musical roots are alive and well down in Tarpon Springs.

Q: When your grandparents settled in Gary, Indiana- what did they end up doing to earn a living?

A: I think my yiayia [grandmother] stayed at home and looked over the household. My grandpa ran a grocery store, The Golden Coast. You can imagine in Gary, of all places, that’s a pretty dangerous place to have a convenience store. He managed. He made some good money. My uncles worked at the grocery store and helped maintain it. That was their way of living. It was a very simple way of living. They raised five children. So from what I understand, it seemed to work pretty well.

Q: In terms of this idea of being Greek, what does that mean for you?

A: It’s a strong connotation of seeing your family, sticking by your beliefs and traditions. Through sticking by your beliefs and sticking with your family and community, there’s a strong sense of pride and commitment. To me, being Greek is primarily living a life grounded in the Orthodox faith. That automatically kind of nurtures and fosters an idea of family and community and tradition. Also, being Greek is living a life of a strong family life, a tradition of community, love and support and kindness. That’s all done through the Orthodox faith.

Q: Going forward, how do you see yourself being connected to your Greek heritage?

A: I hope to stay connected to my Orthodox faith, which I think as far as my Greek heritage, that’s the most important thing that has been passed onto me. Then, a strong sense of family pride and family support. I always try to keep my family in mind whenever I do something. I always try to make not only my immediate family, but also my extended family, proud. To do my part to make all my family members proud of me. To carry on the good name of Millers and the Zembillas’. I can imagine whatever I do, I do it with a strong sense of responsibility and pride. I do it in a way that honors my faith as a Greek Orthodox Christian and also do it in a way to honor my family and to give thanks to those who’ve come before me, who made it possible for me to follow my dreams and to achieve successes in the future.

Q: We’ve covered a lot of different topics. Before we do wrap up, is there anything you wanted to talk about that we didn’t bring up in the interview, or you wanted to elaborate upon?

A: I think I covered all the bases.

Q: Thank you for your time.