Listening to the Next Generation >> Vasiliki

One of the first things I told my roommate was “I’m Greek, and just beware, because my mom will call all the time and she’ll bring care packages over of baklava and yemista. Just beware.”

Got Greek? interviews Vasiliki R., from UC Berkeley

My mom is actually first generation Greek. My dad is from Iran. It’s funny when they first met, actually in Philadelphia. They met at a restaurant, which they don’t like to admit it, but it was a bar. My mom thought he was Greek and my dad thought she was Iranian. So that’s how they kind of met and talked a lot.

My grandparents came from Greece in the late 1930s, early 1940s. They were in the refugee camps right before the war had gotten in full swing and the Germans were there and stuff. They came over to Ohio because they… had connections there. There was a big steel factory where they all worked. They lived within a five mile radius of each other on the same street. Over time, a lot of my mom’s mother’s brothers and sisters came over. So they all grew up together with all the cousins. It was a big family unit on the same street.

Then my mom was the first out of all the cousins- she’s the oldest- to go to college. She went to University of Akron in Ohio and… majored in business administration. She moved to a lot of different places, lived in Philadelphia. Lived in Florida. She started  up her own company… But she grew up in a very traditional Greek family. Church. Greek dancing and Greek school of course. Made summer trips to Greece. Very traditional.

Q: What was it like then growing up in a household with Persian and Greek background?

A: Never a dull moment, I’ll say that. My dad has always been really embracing of the Greek culture. In a lot of ways, they’re very similar as far as family unit and family ties and a lot of the same values. So yeah, he loves being around it. After 20 years of marriage, he’s gotten to understand almost everything like the yelling, “Vasiliki, ella tho!” [“Come here!”] He definitely has got that down pretty well.

Q: My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

A: Yeah, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I thought, “Oh my gosh, this is like so crazy true.” We just died laughing. Died laughing.

Q: Were there characters in the movie you identified with?  You?  Your family?

A: My mom, my dad. He’s not a movie person because he can’t smoke in the movie theater. So he went and just couldn’t believe it was so much of the experience that he had because he’s not Greek. Just the part where [the lead female character is] introducing [the lead male character]. He’s just this American, xeno [foreigner], not a Greek person. Yeah, my father got a kick out of that. That was really what he went through. Of course over time, my mother’s family got to love and respect him because he’s a great guy. Yeah, I definitely identified with the movie. The baptism scene was hilarious because my father went through the same thing. He’s baptized Theofani.  Just the whole experience and it was just great. It was pretty classic.

Q: One of the central themes of that movie has to do with a relationship, marrying somebody who’s not of Greek descent. Does the Greek thing play a factor in your choice of relationships, or perhaps even thinking about a life partner down the road?

A: Yeah, of course. My parents are very forward-thinking and progressive. Now they say, “You don’t have to marry a Greek. You can marry a Persian, too, if you want.” Yeah, that was a joke. They really say, “You marry whoever you want. Marry the person based on characteristics you get along with.” In society today, the divorce rates and relationship statuses are so not the way they used to be traditional-wise. There are some things you want to preserve about some of the traditional values. It’s really tough because a lot of the problems stem from economic and financial issues. Not compatibility. On that standpoint, there’s a lot of sacrifice in marriage. I think about how my dad pretty much sacrificed a lot of his culture, his values and his traditions for my mom. In the end, it worked out great. But it’s just getting over that fact that this is a partnership and it’s a unity between two people. So that’s really important, I think. My parents said to me, “Your education comes first and then you’ll find somebody.” They said, “Probably not in Berkeley.” They think the students are a little bit crazy. “We prefer you to find a nice Greek boy, Persian boy,” that’s pretty much their thinking on that.

Q: How about when you were growing up with your friends who weren’t of Greek descent? How did you feel around them having Greek heritage?

A: It was always a cool thing to say you were Greek. Because I think people, when you say you’re Greek, “That’s great food, that’s great culture.”  It’s funny, because a lot of people have some kind of knowledge about the Greek culture, whether it is the Acropolis or whether it was My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Alongside it, one of the aftermath of that movie was so many people got more of a cultural feeling for the Greek community and the Greek heritage. I think that was really important, too. Because when I say that, they say, “Did you see that movie?” So it was always a cool thing to say you were Greek. I was always proud because I just think there’s so much more in the world and in the international community than just the American way.

Q: Have you been to Greece?

A: I have. I’ve been. I want to say four times now. I went this past summer: summer of 2008, I was graduating from high school and it’s sort of a family tradition. One of the gifts is they buy you a plane ticket. They don’t tell you you’re going to the village for two months. But I had a great time. I went by myself, without my family. So I went with a few friends. We travelled the islands. We have family in Athens and so we usually stay with them. My grandfather is from a village in Northern Greece outside of Lamia. It’s called Stromi. I visited for a week or so. That was a really great experience. I think now that I’m older, it’s just not going and being bored for a week because there’s no TV or playstation [video games]. It’s more about connecting with people that I can really talk to now. They can tell me things about how life was in the earlier days, and what all the cultural norms and practices are. I found it such a great experience to just connect with that part of history that I had not been around for, and my mom was too young to understand, too. That was really cool. Of course, the islands are awesome. It’s hard to leave after two months and come here where you have to read and study 24 hours a day. It was really nice.

Q: Do you have contact with relatives your age who are in Greece?

A: This summer, I definitely made more contacts. A lot of kids in the village who have their parents and their grandparents there… They live in Athens or they live in Thessaloniki and they’ll just drive up there for a weekend… and they spend time in the village there. I have cousins there. We keep in touch on Facebook. I talk to them a lot and it’s funny because sometimes it’s hard to read the Greek in English phonetics. For example,  Ha-ha. We say h-a-h-a. But for them it’s x-a-x-a. So it took me like a week to realize what they were trying to say. But this summer, it was definitely big in finding that connection more with my family and more connections, friendships-wise, in Greece.

Q: Here on campus at Berkeley, are there ways you’re looking to, or already have, to connect with Greek culture?

A: I haven’t met that many Greek Americans here. A lot of the kids who are Greek that I’m friends with are from church and they live in different parts of the Bay Area. But I really am trying to find a way to connect more with the Greek Americans. If anything, I’ve connected and been a part of the Iranian student union more so far, and I’ve only been here for two months. This is my first semester. But I’m definitely looking to try to find that sort of niche to broaden my social network with Greeks that are here.

Q: If we were to go to where you live right now and walked in there, are there things that are identifiably Greek?

A: If that means the large evil eye [Greek tradition to ward off evil spirits] on the top of our door, then definitely yes. I would say that. What else do we have? Just besides the Greek flag that flies every March 25th. I think it’s not so much the physical appearances of our household, it’s more like the warmth and feeling you get when you walk in. My friends always love coming over because the first thing my mom asks is, “Are you hungry?” Then she feeds them an enormous amount. She always has food ready, and she’s a working woman as well… So I’ve always admired her because she’s kept that traditional Greek upbringing while being a business woman and keeping up with her career and stuff. It’s not always so much the physical appearances of being Greek. It’s more of the cultural and the feeling of being in a Greek home, I think, more so.

Q: How about in your dorm room- do you have any objects that speak to your Greek heritage?

A: I have a lot of pictures from Greece on my wall. I’m trying to think of what other things. Not so much. Not so much in my own dorm room. But I listen to Greek music. That’s on my computer. One of the first things I told my roommate was “I’m Greek and just beware because my mom will call all the time and she’ll bring care packages over of baklava and yemista [stuffed tomatoes and peppers]. Just beware, I’m just telling you right now.” Like I said, whenever I tell people, they’re like, “That’s really neat.” She was really cool about it.