Listening to the Next Generation >> Cara

I do want to go back to Greece soon. But I don’t know whether that’s going to happen right now with school and everything else. But every day, I wear my evil eye bracelet or something to remind me of Greece. So I’m always connected to the culture if I’m in class or with family.

Got Greek? interviews Cara N. from Cal State Long Beach

My mom is full Greek and my dad is not. So I’m only half Greek. My great-grandparents came over to the United States from Greece to Southern California, and my family has lived in the area ever since. I’m very involved with the Greek culture and everything.

Q: Do you know where your grandparents came from in Greece?

A: They came from a small village in the Peloponnese, in the mountains near Kalavrita. The village is called Soudena. I’ve been there. I went there for a wedding two years ago.

Q: Was that your first trip to the village?

A: Yes. It was pretty amazing because I saw how they came from nothing and how they made a life here for us to live. Because basically in the village, there’s nothing. There’s just animals and farmers and there’s nothing there.

Q: What did your family end up doing in the United States to earn a living?

A: When my grandfather’s parents came here, they had nothing; just the clothes on their back, basically. They worked really hard at learning how to speak the language and had a vegetable truck. My grandfather ended up going to college. He went to USC [University of Southern California] and was in the army. Then all his sisters went there as well. So they did really well for themselves. My grandfather was a school principal and teacher. My mom became a teacher as well.

Q: So how did your grandparents then meet in the United States ?

A: They met at a Greek party, hit it off and got married a couple months later. They’re both still living and I’m very close to my grandparents today.

Q: Does your dad identify with a particular heritage?

A: Not really. His family has been in America for a long time. He’s a mixture of Russian and Polish and all this different stuff. So because of that, I kind of tend to lean towards the Greek side. I’m very involved in everything in the Greek culture, and the church. Growing up wasn’t that bad because my dad just went to all the Greek functions. We’re more like a Greek family than not, even though I’m only half. It wasn’t really like a big deal in our family because we’re so attached to the culture.

Q: Growing up then, how did you explain your heritage to your friends not of Greek descent?

A: I would kind of basically say “I’m Greek,” and they would ask what that meant. I tried to explain where the country was and what we do: like the dancing, food and all that. They still kind of didn’t understand. When I got to high school, I took some of my friends to the festival my church had and they kind of understood it more. They liked the Greek food. Because my dad is not Greek, and our last name is not Greek, my friends don’t believe me sometimes that I’m Greek. I kind of have to prove it to them by knowing words or something like that. So that’s kind of tough that way. My cousins also are half Greek because my aunt married a non-Greek. So we’re all half and the pressure is on us to keep the culture in the family because otherwise it will die. It’s just kind of tough that way.

Q: So how do you identify yourself: Greek, Greek American, American with Greek roots, American, something else?

A: I say I’m Greek to friends. But to my family, we’re Greek American because we’ve been here for three generations. But if I say Greek American, my friends ask what that means. So I just say I’m Greek to make it easier for them.

Q: When your parents got married, how did your grandparents feel about your mom marrying somebody not of Greek descent?

A: I heard that my grandfather at first disapproved because my dad wasn’t Greek. But as things progressed, I guess he became okay with it. But there’s still kind of a wall there because of the fact she did that. Although he then sees that my sister and I know how to Greek dance and do other things. He sees we’re still holding onto the traditions and the culture. So he’s okay with it for the most part.

Q: You mentioned earlier that you had gone to Greece. Talk a bit about that experience.

A: I’ve been there twice actually. The most recent time was when I was 16. My family went for my mom’s cousin who got married in the village. Before the wedding, we went to Athens and met my mom’s cousin for the first time. Apparently I had met her when I was little but I don’t remember that. Anyway, she took us around Athens and I just fell in love with it right away. I never wanted to leave. I actually cried when we had to leave. But I did love how we saw different parts of Greece and travelled through the mountains into the village for the wedding. On the way, we actually got lost for three hours and we didn’t know what to do. Thank God for cell phones because if not for cell phones, then we would have probably not been alive. My mom, she knows Greek but she couldn’t really  read the signs. So we kept calling her cousin and she was yelling at us. People actually got in the car with us and tried to help us. Eventually we got to the village and it was late at night so we couldn’t see anything. Everybody from our extended family was there. It was really interesting at the wedding. The bride actually rode up on a donkey through the village and people threw rice and wished congratulations in Greek. Then the ceremony took place right after that in the church.  We met the priest there and he commented on how my sister’s eyes are very distinct and that he had the same eyes. As it turned out, the priest is actually one of our cousins. So that was interesting. We found all these long lost relatives in Greece that we wouldn’t have known about if we hadn’t gone to the village where we came from. So I was really glad to see where my ancestors came from. And then after the wedding, my family went to visit some of the islands. We went to Santorini and Crete.

Q: How about the second time you went to Greece?

A: After that first trip, I basically became not obsessed, but everything was about Greece and I had to go back. My parents told me we couldn’t really go back because we had just been. So then we heard about Ionian Village, which is a Greek Orthodox summer camp in Greece. So I went there the next summer when I was 17 and I had the best time ever. I got to see different parts. We went to different islands. It was another part of Greece I got to see. I met some really good people who I still talk to today that are from New York and around here. It was just really great to get the chance to go to Greece again. I enjoyed it a lot.

Q: In your room at school, do you have any objects you associate with your Greek heritage?

A: Yes. I have a long picture of the Acropolis. I bought that because I have one back home, too, and I had to have one in my dorm. I do have things from Greece like worry beads, crosses, and icons. There are also pictures from when I was in Greece.

Q: Did you see My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

A: Yes, and I own a copy of it, too. Everyone says that it reminds them of our family because of my dad not being Greek, except the whole part with the baptism. That was just a little bit exaggerated. But I very much identify with that movie because it’s our family, except our family is not that big.

Q: Could identify with any of the characters in the movie?

A: My cousins aren’t like that and we don’t fight like that. And I only have a younger sister. I don’t have any brothers. So I don’t have a brother. My aunts don’t really act like that either. I think the characters are exaggerated. I don’t really have any people like that in my family.

Q: The main character in the movie marries someone not of Greek descent. In your own relationships, and thinking about a life partner, where does your Greek heritage factor in?

A: My mom’s always trying to get me to go out with Greek guys from the church. I’ve thought about it. If I don’t marry a Greek person, then my kids won’t be connected and that’s kind of sad to think. We live in America, so not everyone is Greek. It’s very hard to find Greek people.

Q: For you, what does being Greek mean to you?

A: Being Greek means always having a community to go to. There’s always something going on. You can always get involved through dancing. Everyone is very close. There’s always support. I’ve met most of my friends through church and Greek functions, and we just have a good time. It means a lot to me.

Q: Now that you’re in college, do you continue to socialize with your friends of Greek descent?

A: Right now at college, there’s not many Greek people at all because they’re just not here. I have my best friend from back home. She’s a quarter Greek. We’re very close because everything to us is Greek this, Greek that and no one understands except for us. We used to do Greek dancing together. But right now at college, I spend time with people who are not Greek and they know I’m Greek because I talk about it all the time. So they don’t get sick of it. They just know I’m Greek and they think it’s cool.

Q: Before the interview started, you indicated that you are part of the AHEPA group, Maids of Athena, for young women.

A: I was recently initiated into the chapter at St. Katherine’s Greek Orthodox Church in Redondo Beach. I’ve been waiting two years to get initiated because where I’m from, there’s not really a chapter. So I had to wait two years. I started this when I was 16. I wanted to get involved when I was 16 and had to wait two years until I came to college. So it finally happened. It means a lot to be in the Maids of Athena because it took me two years to get here where I am. It’s fun so far, and I like what they’re doing . Basically the group gets involved with the community. We do charity work, host church functions, and fundraise for the church and the community. We basically give back to the community and the church. We also have social events and get together with male version of our group, the Sons of Pericles chapter.

Q: Is there anything about the Greek community that frustrates you?

A: My mom and I talk about this a lot. When we went to Greece, we saw a lot of unfinished buildings and construction workers not working. We took a picture of workers not working. They seemed lazy to us. Because way back in ancient Greece, they did all this amazing stuff and now they can’t seem to do anything. And here at my church, people are very disorganized. Everything is last minute.

Q: Going forward, how do you see yourself being connected to Greek culture?

A: I will be in AHEPA and do activities with them. I will also go to church and try to get involved as much as I can. I do want to go back to Greece soon. But I don’t know whether that’s going to happen right now with school and everything else. But every day, I wear my evil eye bracelet or something to remind me of Greece. So I’m always connected to the culture if I’m in class or with family.

Q: Have you ever thought about maybe wanting to live in Greece?

A: I thought about it but then I don’t know if I could stand living there for a whole year. I was telling my parents, maybe live there half the year. But I think it would be really hard to get a job there because I don’t speak the language. I only know a couple words. I just think it would be hard to get a job there.

Q: Is there anything else you would like to share?

A: I just hope my kids will continue on the Greek tradition because it’s very important to me. And my mom sometimes, she’s not very involved like I am and she says that herself. And I don’t understand why because she’s full Greek. I think because she grew up with such a tight Greek family, it was around her all the time that she’s kind of pulling away from it. But I’m moving closer to it. And we talk about that. My parents and I actually got in an argument when I got back from Greece last summer because they said I was obsessed with Greece and that I needed to focus on school. That kind of upset me because they didn’t understand where I was coming from. I just hope they will see where I’m coming from. But it’s just hard for them. Because we’ll fight about Greece. I just think it’s kind of strange they do that because that’s a part of me that’s very important and I don’t understand why they do that. And even my grandma, she’s full Greek but has sort of pulled away from the community. So it’s kind of interesting to see how me and my sister are so connected and the older generations are pulling away from it. I just hope that doesn’t happen to the generations to come. Because then if it does, we’re going to lose our heritage and culture. I don’t want that to happen.

Q: Thank you for the interview.

A: Thank you.