Listening to the Next Generation >> Marissa

Being at our house in Greece over the summer actually makes me almost appreciate the things that I have here and also makes me see that I don’t need them. I don’t bring my computer. We don’t really watch TV. It’s really crazy because you think you can’t live without your cell phone. But it really makes you appreciate your time. You can open a book. You can look at the clouds. It’s really easy going. The whole attitude there is very relaxed. We’ll go out at night, and take a nap in the middle of the day and it doesn’t really bother anyone. Especially going there in the summer when everybody is really there. You can have a good time just talking for hours and hours, and that’s how you spend your day. For me actually, I like to draw. So I just sit on the balcony and draw a picture of the church, something I can see from my view; or go to the beach and draw the ocean. Anything like that is very relaxing. It’s like I want to save this picture in my mind for later. And I can take that back here.

Got Greek? interviews Marissa T. from Barnard College

My whole family is of Greek descent.

Q: What’s their story?

A: My father was born in Limnos, Greece, and moved to Astoria with his parents when he was six years old. My grandparents sill live in the same house today. That’s where I get my very Greek side, from my yiayia [grandmother] and my pappou [grandfather]. My yiayia Maria, she took care of me while my parents were working. So I was basically raised by my grandma along with my little brother. She is the one who introduced me to the language, the culture and things like that. We’ve been going to Limnos over the past few summers, for about a month, since I was about eight years old. We haven’t gone every year. We go every now and then. Basically that’s where my father’s whole side of the family is. We get to meet his side of the family. They all think that I look just like him, and just like my grandmother. It’s a lot of fun because we dance and I get more immersed in the language. I really like to keep in touch with my culture. On my mother’s side, she’s Greek as well and her side is from Sparti [Sparta]. Her mother, my grandmother was born in America. So they’re a little more Americanized, and my mother doesn’t know the language as well as the other side of my family. But it’s still that whole Greek heritage thing. My parents brought me to church and everything like that. I tried Greek school for a while. But I wasn’t really into that as a kid. That’s why I am taking Greek class now in college because I want to be able to speak. Right now, when I speak to my Greek grandparents, they can understand my broken Greek. But other people don’t, not so well. So I want to get better at that and learn my words, learn how to spell because I know how to read. But I don’t always know what I’m reading. That’s why I was really interested in taking Greek as a language in college instead of continuing something like Spanish. I felt this would be of big use to me in my personal life. I am looking forward to going back to Greece next summer and seeing all my family again. They call me up and see how I’m doing. It’s really fun. I really enjoy it there, and I want to go as soon I can.

Q: What do you feel like when you are over there in Greece?

A: I feel like I’m a part of a big family. I try to talk to people. I try to participate in what I can, like when we dance and when we go to the horio [the village]. It’s just a lot of fun. I feel like they understand that I’m American. But they still treat me like as part of a big family. They get really enthusiastic about the things that I do and if I speak or if I help cook or something like that. It’s great getting to know the people that I don’t always get to see all the time because they’re on the other side of the world. We have an apartment in Athens where my maternal grandmother used to live. Now it’s in my mother’s name. So we stay there until we can fly over to Limnos. But in Limnos, we live in the horio [the village]. It’s really small. The house is still made of stone. We just got a bathroom. Being at our house in Greece over the summer actually makes me almost appreciate the things that I have here and also makes me see that I don’t need them. I don’t bring my computer. We don’t really watch TV. It’s really crazy because you think you can’t live without your cell phone. But it really makes you appreciate your time. You can open a book. You can look at the clouds. It’s really easy going. The whole attitude there is very relaxed. We’ll go out at night, and take a nap in the middle of the day and it doesn’t really bother anyone. Especially going there in the summer when everybody is really there. You can have a good time just talking for hours and hours, and that’s how you spend your day. For me actually, I like to draw. So I just sit on the balcony and draw a picture of the church, something I can see from my view; or go to the beach and draw the ocean. Anything like that is very relaxing. It’s like I want to save this picture in my mind for later. And I can take that back here. I’ll end up going back to my computer and my technology and all that. But I’ll still have my photograph or my drawings. They remind me that I want to go back next time.

Q: Do you stay in touch with relatives over there?

A: On my dad’s side, I don’t actually have any cousins, which is really strange for a Greek. But he’s an only child. I do talk to people like my great uncle, my great aunt and his cousins. I talk to them on the phone. Actually one of my dad’s cousins just came to visit my family here in New York for the first time. When my parents drove me back to school, we took her around the city. She was taking pictures and asking us questions like what’s different from Greece. I felt really great talking to her and using the Greek language. I also have a cousin on my mother’s side who lives in Cyprus, and I talk to him online. He was born here. My cousin has a Facebook page and he talks to me on that. It’s really nice. He and his family just came over for the summer, too. They just had a baby. They were talking to us about how it’s different and how it’s the same. I find being close to family is an important thing. There are certain relationships that you have to keep close.

Q: Do you see your sense of family as something that might set you apart from friends who aren’t of Greek background?

A: Not so much. Just on those certain occasions when my family members get together, like on Easter or during the summer or for someone’s birthday or wedding. But those are the times when you are really happy, you’re having a lot of fun, and you’re enjoying yourself. That’s what I find important, more than seeing them every day of the week. It’s really nice to see how everything is going, even if you can’t keep up with them all the time. Also just to keep up that relationship and the friendliness.

Q: How do you explain your Greek heritage to people who are not Greek?

A: I tell them that my dad was born there. So that’s how I get most of my exposure. I tell them that I have a good relationship with my grandmother. She speaks Greek to me. We go back together to Greece. My grandmother and I are very close. I’m named after her. We’re both named Maria. We both like to talk…I’m proud of my culture. I still want to be in touch with it. I don’t speak Greek at home because I don’t live with my grandparents. But when I see them, I speak Greek to them. I am not so immersed in the culture as other Greek American kids who are first-generation from both of their parents, and that’s like the only language that they speak at home. That’s not really the case with me. But that’s what motivates me to I learn the language, to go back and experience life outside America. I tell my friends who aren’t Greek that I love being in Greece. It’s really pretty. It’s a great place to be. The food is great. As for the family thing, I tell them I have a big family and that we don’t always get along. But we’ll come together for happy times, and we always have a great time doing that. Greeks know how to party and all that fun stuff. I love being in Greece and feeling like one of the big group. It’s great.

Q: Since you are currently taking Greek in college, have you thought about studying abroad?

A: I thought about it. But I am not sure. I feel like I would really have to know the language very well. While I would be closer to my relatives, I still wouldn’t know anyone there and I would have to fend for myself in a way. Because here in New York, even though I’m going to school and I’m living at Barnard, I still have family in Queens. It would be a totally different thing to be away from my friends and family. It would be really nice to live there. I would just have to get used to it. It would be a really good experience. But I still haven’t made up my mind on that.

Q: What sort of objects do you have here in your dorm room that you associate with your Greek heritage?

A: I have pictures of my family. I have stuff on my computer. I have my pictures from the summer…Just today, I was reading a website about you know you’re Greek if such and such is true. They had all these funny jokes about being Greek and I was laughing. Because almost all of them were true for me. I wear my cross that I got from my baptism. I have things like that  remind me of my family and my heritage. Nothing like a big giant of map of Greece on my wall. But you get the idea.

Q: My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

A: It makes people aware of Greeks. People come up and ask me if the movie is true; like if Greeks really spit at weddings or if there are 50 Nikos in my family. I set them straight and tell them we don’t get baptized in an inflatable pool and things like that. It’s a movie that at first you’re kind of annoyed by it. Because there are stupid stereotypes. But it’s funny and it kind of grows on you when you watch it twice or three times. What’s funny about that movie is if you watch the little yiayia [grandmother], the one who’s dressed in black. She says all these Greek phrases. If you understand what she’s saying, it’s really funny…But the movie does make me wonder if I’ll end up living at home when I’m older and not get married.

Q: In the movie, the main character marries someone not of Greek descent. To what degree does your Greek heritage play a role in your relationship choices, and possibly thinking about a life partner down the road?

A: I think I would be open. My family is not really restrictive about it. They don’t say I can only date Greek boys. But I don’t know if they say I can only marry Greek boys. I had one uncle who did marry outside the Greek culture. I wouldn’t know what my family would think, especially if I married outside of the faith. They would probably not like that. But it’s a new time and probably some of the things would change. But especially the older generation, they would look at it a different way than people my age would look at it. Like living outside the house when you’re not married, or marrying someone who is not Greek. It would be nice because we could share the culture. But if I didn’t marry a Greek guy, it would be something new to learn. I would still share being Greek with him, take him to Greece and teach him the language. Especially for children eventually, I would teach them at least about the religion or about the language and culture. Not forgetting about it, that’s the key thing.

Q: What values do you associate with your Greek heritage?

A: I just want to be proud of the things that Greek people do. I value that as a Greek woman— you take care of your family. You help out any way you can. You really care for the people in your family. The people older than me have really taught me that. They really show how important the kids are, and caring for people. That’s what matters, sticking with the people that you love. I mean everybody has that kind of value. But I really see that in the people that taught me who I am and the people that I grew up with. I always want to keep that kind of mentality, I guess.

Q: In terms of your identity, do you use any terms like American, Greek American, Greek, American with Greek roots or something else?

A: I guess if I had to identify myself in general, it would be Greek American. But if people ask me what my nationality is, I say Greek. Because that’s what kind of distinguishes you from everybody else. If you say American, everyone here at school, except the international students, is American. So they want to know something more about me, and I’m ready to say this is my culture. I want to meet people that I have that in common with. I met a couple kids that are half- Greek. But I remember in my high school, I had a couple of Greek friends and we would talk about the same kind of things. We had the same kind of funny inside jokes. It was really nice that people got that part of my life. They were familiar with the traditions.

Q: Is there anything we didn’t talk about that you wanted to bring up?

A: It’s a really good opportunity to be in touch with where you come from. That’s something I see from some Americans I have met. Their roots are very much in America. They can identify some kind of descent but they can’t trace it back to a specific city or place. So they’ll go on vacation to Disney World, whereas I go back to visit my family in Greece. I really appreciate that. I want to continue to go back to Greece and feel like I still have a connection to somewhere I wasn’t born, but that it’s still a part of my home. When I’m there in Limnos, I feel that I am part of the town. Everyone knows whose kid I am. Everyone knows I want to be speaking with them, dancing with them, be around and helping out. It’s great. I don’t feel like I’m an outsider even though I was born here. I never want to leave. It’s great.

Q: Thank you for your time.

A: Thanks.