Listening to the Next Generation >> Allie

I feel like the Greekness in my life kind of shaped me into being a better person. Having a strong connection with the church and going to Sunday school. My mom raised me to have good morals and stick with them and not let people persuade me into different things. So that’s one thing, just having what you believe in and not letting anyone change that. Then, always having a strong family and not just biological family, but the whole community you’re with. They’re always there for you. There’s people that come to family celebrations like Christmas and Easter. We’re not related to them at all except for the fact that we’ve known them for a really long time. So I think the people that you meet in the Greek community kind of become another family for you.”

Got Greek? interviews Allie B. from UC Berkeley

My mom is half Greek, and my yiayia [grandmother] is full Greek. She was born and raised in Athens, and moved here when she married my grandpa in 1959 or 1960, I think.

Q: How did your grandparents end up meeting each other?

A: My grandpa was in the Marines. He joined right after high school, and he was stationed in Greece for two years. Another Marine that was in his group was getting married to a Greek girl.  So my grandpa was at the wedding, and my yiayia was one of the bridesmaids.  He saw her, and he told someone, “I’m going to marry that girl before I leave Greece.” He actually ended up following the wedding party to all their pictures. He snuck into all their pictures just so he could try and talk to my yiayia.  She thought he was a total creep.  She and her friends were talking about how there was this weird guy with glasses following them around, and they were wondering what he was doing there.  He ended up talking to her, and they did get married before he left.

Q: Were they able to communicate?

A: I’ve heard this story from them.  I don’t know if it’s true.  But my grandpa said that, when they first met, the only thing he knew how to say in Greek was “s’agapo” [I love you].  So he went up to her and said that, and she slapped him.  But I think they did okay.  He knew a little bit of Greek, and she knew a little bit of English.  So they would kind of have other people tell them what the other was saying sometimes.

Q: So your grandmother then came back with your grandfather to California. What did they do there to earn a living for their family?

A: They moved back to Oceanside, actually a little bit north of San Diego.  That’s where my mom was born.  My mom was born pretty soon after they got married. So they had her.  My grandpa, I actually have no idea what he did. He just worked with the Marines on the base at Camp Pendleton. They also worked at the movie theater there. They worked with the tickets and concessions.  So my yiayia did that, and my grandpa did that. I think a couple years later, once my yiayia was fluent in English, she helped out at my mom and my uncle’s schools as a teacher’s aide.

Q: What was your mom’s experience growing up? Did she grow up in a Greek household?

A: I think she grew up in less of a Greek household than I have. My yiayia was afraid to teach them Greek.  She was afraid that they would get an accent, and people would make fun of them.  So she didn’t teach them Greek at all. I don’t even think they went to Greek school until they were older.  They actually ended up moving to Greece when my mom was 14 in the 1970s because my grandpa got re-stationed there.  But I guess my yiayia was kind of shying away from Greek things, because she just wanted them to be normal American kids.  So it definitely wasn’t like My Big Fat Greek Wedding or anything.

Q: Since your grandmother came over here, that didn’t necessarily mean she had relatives over here.

A: No, she didn’t have any relatives over here.  I know now she has friends who have moved over here.  I don’t know if they were here at the same time she was.  But they really didn’t know a lot of Greek people, anyway, when they first came back up.  They did meet some because there was a little church set up at Camp Pendleton on the base. But they only knew one or two families, maybe, that were Greek besides them.

Q: How did your parents meet?

A: They went to the same high school and actually met through mutual friends at a school dance…They never dated in high school.  But in college, they both went to Humboldt State for a little bit.  So they’ve known each other for a long time.

Q: On your father’s side, is there any cultural heritage that he identifies with in his family?

A: I guess, probably Polish. I know my grandma is really kind of hard core Polish. But it’s not really something that he identifies with.  He’s like, “Yeah. I’m Polish.” But it’s not really the same thing.

Q: So you have one grandmother who has a Polish connection, and you have another grandmother who has a Greek connection. What was it like for you growing up?

A: The Greek was definitely more prominent.  My grandparents live across the parking lot from me.  I can look out my window right now and see their house.  We live in one condo building and they live in the other one. It’s been like that since my brother and I were six or something.  So I’ve had a much closer connection with my yiayia, than with my other grandma because she moved further north. And just the fact that they were so close, we didn’t go to preschool. My yiayia took care of us during the day when my mom went back to work. I just think that made the Greek presence in my life a lot stronger because she was closer.

Q: When your yiayia took care of you and your brother, did she expose you to the Greek language or other things you would associate with Greek culture?

A: She would say a few things in Greek, like “koukla mou” [my doll], “agapi mou” [my love]. But she never actually taught us Greek. My mom was the one who pushed us to go to Greek school, actually. We did have Greek food, and some Greek phrases said around us.  She mostly just put on Lamb Chop or some type of cartoon…Now, that we’re older, I hear her talk a lot about how the Greeks invented everything in the world and did things better.

Q: You mentioned that you went to Greek school on your mom’s pushing.  What was Greek school like for you?

A: I hated it at first.  I saw no point in going. I was like, “I don’t know why I have to know Greek?  I don’t live in Greece.  I’m not going to go to Greece.” But now, I’m glad I went.  I stopped.  I was a Greek school dropout.  I stopped after fifth or sixth grade. But I still remember a little bit. I can still read Greek. I just don’t know what I’m reading.  My opinion changed about Greek school. I didn’t mind going after a while. But my brother didn’t want to have anything to do with it.  So he stopped way before I did. Then, when I went to Greece this summer, I was really glad that I did it.  It made my Greek class a lot easier because I already knew some of the stuff.

Q: Talk to me a little bit about your experience on the AHEPA Journey to Greece program that you were on.

A: I was really hesitant at first.  I almost backed out at the last minute.  The first time I had left the country was that Christmas. But it was with my family.  So I’d never been away from my family for more than a week. I was going to a foreign country, by myself, for a month and I didn’t really know what to expect.  I think, in the end, it was a really beneficial experience.  I would definitely do it again if I could.  It helped a lot with me taking the Greek class and actually being in Greece. It helps you learn it a lot faster.  Everyone says you’ll learn it faster when you’re actually in the country.  But I didn’t think so until I got there and picked it up pretty quickly, I think. Obviously, all the people I met from the program were really great and I still keep in touch with a lot of them. I saw one of my friends this past weekend when he came up to Berkeley. So we all still hang out and keep in touch.  It was just the kind of trip where we had a great bonding experience.  So I think I’m going to be friends with a lot of those people for a really long time. And I’d say, of course, Greece is a really beautiful country. It’s one of the prettiest things I’ve ever seen.  I definitely want to go back.

Q: Being there for the first time, what did it really feel like? You got to spend a month there. Did you feel connected to the place?

A: At first, I felt completely out of place the first couple days we were there. I didn’t know what to really expect going to Athens. I didn’t know it was going to be a really huge city.  I would compare it to San Francisco, I guess, just how many people there are in such a small space. Especially down where our apartments were, by Syntagma Square. I was surprised by all the graffiti. But after we had been there a week, I felt like I fit in better and I connected with it.  I just felt comfortable there. I can’t really explain it. It felt right being there.  Also, my yiayia and grandpa were there at the same time I was. So I wasn’t actually completely alone. When they found out I was going to Greece for a month, they decided to go too. So they were nearby. I got to go to my yiayia’s part of town where she grew up. I saw the house where she grew up and visited some of my family. She also took me to the church where she and my grandpa got married.  So that was really cool. Being there with them made the trip a lot more special.

Q: Now that you’re in college, what’s your connection to your Greek heritage been like? Do you find yourself connecting more or less?

A: I’m definitely making an effort to connect more.  The first thing that my mom and I did when I got to Berkeley was go to the closest Greek church and see if anyone went to Berkeley.  So we went to the church in Oakland, and talked to the priest there.  He actually introduced me to Vaso [Vasiliki R. who was also interviewed by Got Greek?].  She’s actually one of my closest friends now at Berkeley. I was kind of worried about making another Greek home when I came to Berkeley.  I know the people that I know from my church in San Diego are always there.  I’ve known most of those people since I was a baby, basically. So I wanted to get in with another group of Greeks. Just to have that kind of home base. So I went on Facebook and every person I saw from the incoming class that had a Greek last name, I added them. Just to try and meet Greek people. Then, going to church. I’ve also tried to go to the Orthodox Christian Fellowship that we have at Berkeley on Tuesday nights. It’s kind of hard to make it on Tuesday nights. But I’ve tried to go. That also helps. I did sign up for a Greek class this semester. Greek II, since I took Greek I in Greece. I went on the first day of class and it turns out it was ancient Greek, not modern Greek. So I had to drop the class. It’s harder now to connect to my Greek culture since it’s harder to get to church and meet people and everything. But when I go home, I go to church and everything.

Q: In your dorm room at Berkeley, are there any objects you identify with your Greek heritage?

A: Yeah. It’s funny because one of my roommates is Serbian Orthodox. The day we were moving in, I put my Orthodox study bible on the bookshelf and she says, “No way. I have the same bible” and pulled it out. So that was kind of cool. So we both have those bibles. I have a little icon of the Virgin Mary and Jesus hanging above the bed. And then, my cross that I obviously wear.

Q: Do you listen to Greek music?

A: I wasn’t aware of Greek music until this summer. But then, all my friends on the trip, introduced it to me. So I have about 10 Greek songs on my iPod [mp3 player]. I like those songs. So I’m going to look for more.

Q: Do you ever go on the Internet at all to look at any Greek related things?

A: I don’t really go on the Internet to look at news, period. So, no, I don’t go on the Internet to look at Greek related news. But sometimes my mom sends me articles and stuff and I read them. I just kind of stumble across things sometimes. But I don’t specifically go looking for them.

Q: Thinking about your cultural identity, do you use terms at all like Greek, Greek American, American with Greek background, something else or nothing at all?

A: I always get asked what ethnicity I am when someone sees my name, like at the doctor’s office or at school. I just say I’m Greek. I don’t say Greek American because obviously I’m American. I’m living here. So I just say I’m Greek.

Q: You use Stavroula as your given first name but go by Allie.

A: Yeah, Allie because Alexandra is my middle name. No one can say Stavroula without screwing it up. So my mom just figured she would make it easier for everyone by calling me Allie.

Q: Do you ever get into conversations where you meet somebody who’s Greek because of your name?

A: At the beginning of the semester, I was at a party and I started talking to this guy.  He asked what my name was. I was like, why not, I’m going to say Stavroula. So I say Stravroula and he’s like, “Really. My name is Stavros.” We ended up knowing a lot of the same people. So it was really cool. We still hang out and stuff. It’s really random the way we met, and he has the male version of my name.

Q: The movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding—  what’s your take on it?

A: I loved it. My whole family went to go see it together. I think my mom and my uncle totally loved it. The dad [in the movie] is kind of strict and that was exactly like my yiayia. So they could relate to that a lot. I related to the whole Greek school thing, and everyone mispronouncing your name. When I was in school and I was little, I remember kids asking me why my mom couldn’t name me something normal. Because on the first day of school, they would always say Stavroula and then I would have to tell them I go by Allie. I think overall the movie was pretty accurate.  Obviously, there were exaggerations like the Greek flag on the garage door, the statues in the front yard and all that stuff.  Just little things, like the plastic on the furniture, so many of my friends’ families do that. Basically, almost every person I know from my church owns a restaurant. There’s not a Greek restaurant in San Diego that we don’t know the person who owns it. One of my friends, Angie, we joked that the movie is her life because they have four daughters, they own a family restaurant, they all work in the restaurant and that is going to be like when she gets married. It’s going to be exactly like that movie, I’m pretty sure.

Q: One of the central themes in My Big Fat Greek Wedding is relationships, and the main character marrying someone who’s not of Greek descent.  For you, thinking about relationships, even later on in life and maybe having a life partner, where does the Greek thing factor in?

A: When I was little and way before I started dating, I would say “I’m going to marry a Greek boy.” You can’t just say that and have it happen. My yiayia didn’t marry a Greek guy. My mom didn’t marry a Greek guy. I mean there’s a chance that I’ll marry someone who’s Greek.  But I wouldn’t count on it. I don’t think my family would really care that much as long as I’m happy.  I’ve had two, three boyfriends and none of them are Greek. My family still liked them, and were welcoming. So I don’t think it will be a problem. I’m not specifically looking for someone who’s Greek. But just someone who will accept Greek culture and my religion because I do want to get married in the church. So as long as he’s willing to go along with that, then there shouldn’t be any problems.

Q: Going forward in your life, how do you see yourself staying connected to the culture?

A: I think the biggest way for me to stay connected is probably through church. That’s been a big constant in my life since I was baptized in the church. I still go to the church where I was baptized. I have friends that I’ve known since we were in kindergarten and Sunday school together. Then, my family moved to St. Louis for three years when I was in elementary school. The first thing we did was go to a Greek church there and meet people. I ended up becoming really good friends with the priest’s son, and still talk to him even though we moved back six or seven years ago. But yeah, going to church is probably the biggest way for me to stay connected. Then, also, the dance groups is something I’ve always been involved in. I started doing Greek dance when I was five. I kept it up all throughout school. I ended up starting to direct groups during my freshman year in high school. I just stopped when I graduated high school because I was moving away. I couldn’t help out anymore. I think Greek dancing is something that really makes it fun. It’s just a fun thing to dance at festivals and on Easter, or whenever you go to someone’s wedding or even some of my friends’ birthdays. They have a Greek band or something, it’s just fun being able to connect that way.

Q: For you, what does it mean being Greek?

A: I feel like the Greekness in my life kind of shaped me into being a better person. Having a strong connection with the church and going to Sunday school. My mom raised me to have good morals and stick with them and not let people persuade me into different things. So that’s one thing, just having what you believe in and not letting anyone change that. Then, always having a strong family and not just biological family, but the whole community you’re with. They’re always there for you. There’s people that come to family celebrations like Christmas and Easter. We’re not related to them at all except for the fact that we’ve known them for a really long time. So I think the people that you meet in the Greek community kind of become another family for you.

Q: Thanks Allie.

A: You’re welcome.