Listening to the Next Generation >> Chris

One aspect to being Greek American is what I call the “Greek discount.”  That is, when you meet someone on the street and you find out that he is Greek. So if you’re buying a sandwich from him, he will tell you to take it for nothing or at a 50% discount.  It is not the fact that you are getting something for less because you are Greek, but it is the fact that you have a common background with someone else who you have never met. I could be passing judgment, but I don’t know how many other cultures have that experience as much as the Greeks do. I feel like it is really something few other cultures have. I think that one Greek would give the shirt off his back for another Greek, even without knowing the identity of the other Greek.  Having that bizarre yet warm connection to all Greeks universally, is the best part of being a Greek American.

Got Greek? interviews Chris P. from Boston College

My father is of Greek descent. He was actually born in Greece and was adopted into a Greek family. His surrogate mother was Cypriot. Despite being originally born in Greece, my father considers himself Greek American because he grew up in the United States. My mom is not Greek but Armenian. Thus, my Greek heritage rests with my dad.

Q: After your dad was adopted, where did he end up?

A: He ended up in River Edge, New Jersey and grew up in the same house his whole life – in a small town suburban setting. It is kind of a neat story. His adopted parents didn’t go pick him out in the orphanage. A distant family member went and picked him out. He was an infant, only nine months old. When they went to pick him, his adopted mother had one criterion: that the child would have blonde hair. It was kind of superficial but it was her only request. It turns out that all the children there had blonde hair, go figure. So they picked him because he had two different colored eyes, one green eye and one brown eye. It is a trait that he is thankful to have– because he would have probably had a very different life if he weren’t taken out of the orphanage. He now has brown hair, which is kind of funny. The blonde hair only lasted for a few months.

Q: So what was your dad’s life like in New Jersey?

A: He grew up in that house and he considers his adoption parents his real parents. They both passed away, though. I never met my grandfather. He passed away when my dad was 17, so I never got the chance to meet him. He died fairly young. My grandmother, on the other hand, I knew very well. She passed away when I was younger. She was a very intelligent woman. She actually was accepted into Cornell University when she was younger. She went for a semester and then her father discovered the school was co-ed and sent her to a small women’s college. They wouldn’t let her go to Cornell because it was co-ed, which is kind of indicative of the times I guess. She majored in linguistics and consequently knew many different languages. My grandfather, who I didn’t meet, was apparently a real gritty American. Even though he was Greek American, he enlisted in the army during World War II at the age of 17. He lied about his age to get in. He was very patriotic, and a warm-hearted person from the stories I hear. It was an interesting dichotomy between him and my yiayia [grandmother] simply because he was a die-hard Republican and my Yiayia was very liberal.  Election day was always a battle, so I hear.

Q: What was it like growing up in your own household?

A: The Greek and Armenian traditions are very similar. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. She raised us and was there every day. I am really thankful for it. I truly believe it left a positive impact on my life. She worked before I was born. But as she always puts it, raising children is a full-time job. Additionally, I have a younger brother who is 19, and luckily my parents saw eye-to-eye on everything with regard to raising my brother and me. We had a traditional but also modern upbringing because my parents are not real fresh-off-the-boat kind of Greek or Armenian parents. They were both raised in very traditional settings; however, as much as they played by the rules while raising us, they bent them as well. The respect my brother and I have for our parents runs deep, and because of it, he and I try to stay in line. On occasion, we would get into trouble, and our parents made sure similar trouble wouldn’t find us a second time.

Q: What was that like when you were a teenager with your friends who weren’t of Greek background? How did that play out?

A: I consider myself American. So for me, it was never too much of an issue. It was always interesting to share our culture because it is definitely true that both Greeks and Armenians are both very proud of their background.  Whenever my friends would come over, we would share whatever food my mom or my grandma would make. They always got a kick out of homemade hummus or tsoureki [sweet egg bread]. But outside of the food, we are pretty American. We keep to the standard usage of Windex.

Q: Are there stories, or other ways you use to explain your Greek background to friends?

A: A lot of my friends growing up were either Jewish or Roman Catholic. So in terms of religion, there was a big difference – especially with the Roman Catholics. For Catholics, going to church on Sunday consisted of a mere hour excursion. I once invited some Catholic friends to come to my church. They were blown away by the radical differences in the setting and service.  Church aside, my friends noticed how my culture pervades my home. They saw me as this guy who always had strange –yet delicious– food in his house. I guess, in that regard, I was a little bit different than my friends. And in terms of my upbringing, I was very close to my cousins. I think every Greek family is close to their distant relatives. I actually have no idea how I’m related to most of my cousins. My distant family owned a house in Monroe, New York. It had about an acre of property, a pool, and a nice house. There were three different owners at the time. They sold all the property now, but we used to go up there every week in the summer – sometimes for weeks at a time to relax and enjoy the occasional barbeque. It was a great way for the parents to enjoy each other’s company and the kids obviously would run around. It was fun. For me, it was different, because some friends would ask what I was doing on the weekend, and, instead of being at home, I would tell them that I was hanging out with my cousins in New York.

Q: Growing up, was the Greek language spoken around you?

A: Not as much as I would have liked, to be honest. I hear it from my dad. He speaks Greek fairly well. The only language my immediate family has in common is English. Combined we speak five different languages. My mom speaks French and Armenian, and my dad speaks Greek and Spanish. I learned French, which was spoken a lot around me growing up, simply because my mother’s parents are French Armenian. There was always an argument in my house about the origin of one word or another. My dad would always argue, “This word comes from the Greek word” and my mom would counter him with some French or Armenian root. My dad usually ended up winning. We would look it up in the dictionary and find out. That was my only experience with the language until college. He would sometimes check my homework and say, “This comes from that word” and now I understand why. I feel like that was probably the only exposure I had to the language, unfortunately.

Q: Now that you are in college, have you taken any Greek-related classes or gotten involved in Greek-related organizations?

A: When I came to Boston College, I was dying to take Modern Greek because I really wanted to learn it. I thought I could master it in two years, but that didn’t happen. It is extremely difficult. I found Modern Greek hidden in the course offerings in the Classics department with Professor Maria Kakavas. She really served as a mentor to me. She was fantastic, and definitely one of my favorite professors at Boston College. I took a year and a half of Modern Greek, elementary to intermediate. It was a great experience but it was hard to learn the language with no one to practice it with. I didn’t have enough conversation partners to solidify it in my mind. If I did I, think I would have maybe been semi-fluent. It comes back to you, though. I feel like if I went back to Greece, I would remember a great deal. The best part of that class was meeting other Greeks at Boston College. I joined the campus Hellenic society, which has been really great. In terms of what we do every year, it is more of a social organization, which is nice because we get to meet other Greeks and hang out – watch a movie or make some food. Maria Kakavas is our club advisor. I don’t know if it is official or unofficial, but she comes and hangs out with us, too. I think the Hellenic Society has been a large part of my experience here. I am an active member. I help out as much as I can and I really enjoy it.

Q: In your apartment or your dorm room, do you have things that remind you of your Greek heritage?

A: Oh yeah. Since freshman year, I was very keen on putting something up that reminded me of my Greek culture. One such item was the evil eye. Boston College always has a poster sale in September. I went freshman year but couldn’t find anything that reminded me of Greece. So I shopped online and I bought a poster of Santorini. It is a picture of a small church with the water in the background. I’ve  had that poster for the past four years and it is still on my wall. People come in and they comment about what a great picture it is and ask me if I’m Greek.

Q: Have you been to Greece?

A: I went once when I was around ten or eleven. It was a great experience. I will never forget going there. We stayed in Athens for a little bit and saw the Parthenon and all the tourist sites. I then spent time with my cousins, which was a lot of fun. We went to Paros, a more resort-like island, and then we did a little island hopping while we were in the Aegean. We went to Delos and a couple other popular tourist sites. We also did a Mykonos day trip. We stayed about three weeks. I learned a lot of Greek. After that trip, I wanted to learn Greek. But it wasn’t until college that I got the chance.

Q: Do you follow current events in Greece, or anything like that?

A: I wish I did. I probably should more. But I don’t. If something really drastic happens, obviously I will find out through the media. Sometimes over the summer, I will watch the international channel at home. My mom will watch the French news because she grew up there. And right after the French news, the Greek news airs. So we’ll watch it from time to time.

Q: Do you listen to Greek music?

A: I do and I don’t. I don’t really know any bands or artists. I will just listen to a website that Maria Kakavas gave me, or old CDs/tapes I found in my house. Listening helps me remember a few words here and there. I love it. It is in my blood. I feel like you’re born with it. I hear Greek music, and I start dancing. I can’t help it. I actually play guitar, and some drums and piano.  Greek music certainly has an influence on my style.

Q: When you think of your identity, do you use terms like Greek, Greek American, American with Greek roots, or Armenian? How do you identify yourself?

A: I would probably say first, I am American. But when I was growing up, it was really interesting. Your heritage is so strong. At least for me, it was Greek and Armenian. I would even ask kids when I was much younger, “What is your cultural heritage or background?”  I was probably five or six at the time, and the other kids would look at me and had no idea what I was talking about. Most of the time, I identified myself as Greek and Armenian, honestly because I assumed everyone around me was naturally American and had interesting family backgrounds. To my surprise, this wasn’t always the case – so I learned growing up. Not everyone has a cultural background that influences them on a daily basis to the extent that the Greek and Armenian cultures do.  I will tell people all the time, my mom is Armenian and my dad is Greek, although they are technically both American. A lot of the time, I will get Greek over Armenian because of my last name. Either way it is a large part of how I identify myself amongst others.

Q: Did you see the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

A: Yeah. It was great. I thought it was hysterical. The best part is that I saw it with my mom and my brother. We went to a local theater. A lot of my friends were in the theater and they didn’t know I was in the back because we came a little late. As we were walking out, we ran into my friends and they told me they couldn’t stop thinking of me during the whole movie. They asked if that’s what my family was actually like. So after that, I had to deal with a barrage of questions from kids at school who would ask if my family was like the one in the movie. I would say there are elements of it that everyone can relate to. Even non-Greeks saw a lot of similarities to their own heritage and backgrounds. I thought it was hysterical. I don’t know where the Windex remedy came from. But I thought it was a great movie. It was noble to produce the movie to shed light on our culture. Granted there was a great deal of exaggeration, it was a fun and light way of saying this is what Greek American life is like for some people.

Q: Are there specific values you associate with your Greek heritage?

A: Definitely. I think the first thing that pops in my head is education. For my parents, educating yourself was number one, whereas sports and extra-curricular activities came second. If my school work wasn’t done, I wouldn’t be allowed to leave the house. That was the truth of the situation. Also family dinners were very important. My parents made it a point, despite how busy we were between school and extra-curricular activities, that we would eat as family whether we were eating McDonalds or having a homemade meal. I feel like that is something a lot of Greek Americans will always do because it is part of that tradition that they are brought up in. For me, that’s very important. Because whatever happened that day- good, bad, or different- we could sit down, talk, get it out, then resume whatever we had been doing prior to dinner.

Q: Was the church at all part of your Greek upbringing?

A: Not so much the Greek Orthodox Church, but the Armenian Apostolic church. My mom was very involved. My dad is not involved in the Greek church. I was christened Greek Orthodox and my parents were married Greek Orthodox; however, I was raised in the Armenian Apostolic tradition. The two traditions are very similar. Armenian Apostolic is a little more like Eastern Catholic. They follow the Gregorian calendar. That is the only difference between the two. I went to Sunday school at St. Leon’s Armenian Apostolic church in Fairlawn, New Jersey from the time I was six or seven through junior year of high school.

Q: In terms of relationship choices, what role does your Greek heritage play?

A: It is one of those things that is kind of funny. I will first speak on my parents’ behalf, and then on my own. They will say, it doesn’t matter who it is, whatever background they come from: x, y, z or red, white, or blue. It doesn’t matter. But the truth of the situation is, they’ll want to know: Is she Greek? Is she Armenian? Is she something close to either? It is unspoken word. Speaking for myself, it is definitely an important factor, but not extremely important. I would value love first, over heritage; however, it is one of those things that would be an added bonus. If I could find a beautiful Greek woman who has the same interests as me and who I fall in love with, that would be ideal. But if I operate under that context, it may not always work out in my favor. I wouldn’t limit myself to dating Greek girls, but if I find one I like, I think it would be that much better.

Q: Before we end, is there anything we didn’t bring up that you wanted to talk about?

A: One aspect to being Greek American is what I call the “Greek discount.”  That is, when you meet someone on the street and you find out that he is Greek. So if you’re buying a sandwich from him, he will tell you to take it for nothing or at a 50% discount. It is not the fact that you are getting something for less because you are Greek, but it is the fact that you have a common background with someone else who you have never met. I could be passing judgment, but I don’t know how many other cultures have that experience as much as the Greeks do. I feel like it is really something few other cultures have. I think that one Greek would give the shirt off his back for another Greek  — even without knowing the identity of the other Greek.  Having that bizarre yet warm connection to all Greeks universally, is the best part of being a Greek American.

Q: Thank you for your time.

A: You’re very welcome. Thank you.